Stress tests; Tech bubbles; The Millennial Whose Job Is to Taste Bourbon; Octopus escape artists; AND MORE.

Somalia plants to print its own currency; North Korea linked to digital attacks on global banks; Kim Jong Un's aunt runs a dry-cleaners in NYC; and more.

$$$ Buffett Picks His ‘Bear’ for Annual Meeting [DealBook] $$$ Wall Street’s latest idea: collateral transformation [FT] $$$ Nasdaq executing trades at a loss [FT] $$$ "Las Vegas Sands is disputing reports out late Friday that it likely violated the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act," even though those reports included its own 10-K [CNBC] $$$ Mike Mayo has a lot to say about not being invited to meetings and stuff [CNBC] $$$ Fake bishop sneaks into Vatican meeting with 100 real cardinals [NYDN] $$$ Susquehanna is looking for operations analysts in New York [DBCC] $$$ The Effect of Underreporting on LIBOR Rates [St. Louis Fed] $$$ Big redemptions unlikely if Avenue loses Lasry to Parisian embassy [HFI] $$$ Icahn Foe Rachesky Joins Mentor Attack on Navistar [Bloomberg] $$$ The M&A pickup [FTAV] $$$ 'Batman' brings in suspect to Bradford police [BBC]

Jose Cuevero said to be planning IPO; SunEdison preparing for bankruptcy; Octopus slips out of aquarium tank, crawls across floor, escapes down pipe to ocean; and more.

$$$ IIF Bank Group: Greek Debt Buyback Likely To Reach Target [WSJ] $$$ Doing the Shareholder Sidestep [DealBook] $$$ Netflix CEO Hastings Faces SEC Action Over Facebook Post [Bloomberg] $$$ Rush to set up ‘ultra-short’ bond funds [FT] $$$ Bain leads private equity firms in use of low-tax payouts [Reuters] $$$ Financial Times Discovers Hip-Hop Slang From Last Century [DI] $$$ A multi-billion-dollar asset management firm is looking for a quantitative execution junior equities trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ Partners’ Stake in Goldman Sachs Rises [DealBook] $$$ Defaulted Bondholders Undeterred as Gains Hold [Bloomberg] $$$ Will JPMorgan's 'Jes' Staley Jump Ship? [CNBC] $$$ Brooklyn couple makes breakup video to announce split to their friends [NYDN via Kevin Roose] $$$ Snoop [Lion] Asked Himself a Question About His Own Weed Habits on Reddit [NYO]

$$$ S.E.C. Acts on Suspicious Heinz Trading [DealBook] $$$ Facebook says target of sophisticated hacking attack [Reuters] $$$ Gleacher Won't Explore Merger for Now [WSJ] $$$ Berlusconi defends need for bribery [FT] $$$ "My grandkids always beat me at Rock Band. And I say, Listen, you may beat me at Rock Band, but I made the original records, so shut up." - Paul McCartney [Arts Beat] $$$ A multi-strategy hedge fund is looking for an FX quant/strategist in NY, Chicago or London [DBCC] $$$ Warren Buffett might buy some other companies, or he might not [Bloomberg] $$$ Warren Buffett’s Kind of Deal [DealBook] $$$ Dealpolitik: Heinz Deal Introduces a New Twist on Reverse Breakup Fees [Deal Journal] $$$ Could Dodd-Frank be unconstitutional? No? [Wonkblog] $$$ San Diego shocked by ex-mayor’s BILLION-dollar gambling losses [AP]

$$$ Fed Proposes Broad Guidelines for Foreign Banks [WSJ] $$$ UBS Libor Pact Said to Include Charges Against Bankers [Bloomberg] $$$ SEC has examined Bank of America mortgage repurchases [Reuters] $$$ China investors grow angry at mud-slinging [FT] $$$ VIDEO: "Big Write-Offs Will Inspire You," Top AIG Exec Raps About Bailout [MoJo] $$$ Best Buy Gives Founder More Time to Make a Bid [DealBook] $$$ Apple Falls as UBS Projects Growth Slowdown [Bloomberg] $$$ This is a story about conversion-free contingent convertible notes [Euromoney] $$$ This is a story about an ad hoc group of sewer warrant holders [Bloomberg] $$$ "There's also the fear that admissions officers could develop Sandy fatigue. 'That's the risk, that everyone from New Jersey or New York is going to be writing about Sandy,' said Nicole Oringer, a private admissions counselor." [WSJ]

$$$ Hedge Fund Manager Found Guilty of Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Citi chief rejects calls for bank splits [FT] $$$ E.C.B. Rejects Speculation About Its Bond-Buying Intentions [NYT] $$$ Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore became the first women admitted to Augusta National [USAT] $$$ Apple Market Value Hits Record High $$$ Kansas lawmaker apologizes for nude Sea of Galilee swim [AP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an anti-money-laundering due diligence manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Banks Use $1.77 Trillion To Double Treasury Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Seeing Moat Of Secrecy Run Dry Vows Results To Lure Wealthy [Bloomberg] $$$ "Inspired by Google’s PageRank, the authors of a new paper create DebtRank, a measure of connection centrality. The vertical axis in the following diagram shows DebtRank (centrality) the horizontal axis asset shows size relative to the total network and the color indicates fragility/leverage. Institutions such as Wachovia, RBS and Barclays were relatively small but because of their centrality and fragility they imposed big risks on the system." [MR] $$$ Would it be better if analysts started earnings call Q&As by saying "terrible quarter, guys"? [Overheard]