$$$ Hedge Fund Manager Found Guilty of Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Citi chief rejects calls for bank splits [FT] $$$ E.C.B. Rejects Speculation About Its Bond-Buying Intentions [NYT] $$$ Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore became the first women admitted to Augusta National [USAT] $$$ Apple Market Value Hits Record High $$$ Kansas lawmaker apologizes for nude Sea of Galilee swim [AP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an anti-money-laundering due diligence manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Banks Use $1.77 Trillion To Double Treasury Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Seeing Moat Of Secrecy Run Dry Vows Results To Lure Wealthy [Bloomberg] $$$ "Inspired by Google’s PageRank, the authors of a new paper create DebtRank, a measure of connection centrality. The vertical axis in the following diagram shows DebtRank (centrality) the horizontal axis asset shows size relative to the total network and the color indicates fragility/leverage. Institutions such as Wachovia, RBS and Barclays were relatively small but because of their centrality and fragility they imposed big risks on the system." [MR] $$$ Would it be better if analysts started earnings call Q&As by saying "terrible quarter, guys"? [Overheard]

Somalia plants to print its own currency; North Korea linked to digital attacks on global banks; Kim Jong Un's aunt runs a dry-cleaners in NYC; and more.

Titleist golf unit considering IPO; Morgan Stanley done with energy stocks; Glencore shares plunge; Qatar Fund Loses $5.9 billion; "Marijuana falls from the sky, puts hole in Arizona family's carport"; and more.

$$$ JPMorgan is the best place to work, according to the Vault Guide [DealBook] $$$ "Morgan Stanley's wealth management chief, Greg Fleming, has just concluded a seven-city tour of the firm’s brokerage offices in an attempt to stem a broker revolt over the company’s new technology system that contains so many glitches that brokers often cannot sign-up new clients." [FBN, earlier] $$$ Ex-Jet Chrebet Among Top Wealth Managers Leaving Morgan Stanley for Barclays [Deal Journal] $$$ A fourth trader under scrutiny in JPM "Whale" probe [Reuters] $$$ "What the ECB is doing, in essence, is setting itself up as the shadow government of Italy, Spain, Portugal, and perhaps Ireland." [Slate / Matt Yglesias] $$$ Court to decide if lap dancing is a tax-exempt art form [USAT] $$$ Morgan Stanley Smith Barney is looking for a suspicious activity monitoring and investigations analyst [DBCC] $$$ Greenhill Expands Capital Advisory Group [DealBook] $$$ Investors are buying California school district bonds [WSJ] $$$ The ‘mystery Libor’ precedent [FTAV] $$$ Why Yes, It Is Time for Homemade Satellites [BBW] $$$ What Famous People Smell Like [The Awl]

$$$ Fed's Early Minutes Release Went to Some Banks [WSJ] $$$ Ex-SAC Trader Gets Court Permission for African Honeymoon [DealBook] $$$ Dimon Sees More Regulator Scrutiny After Whale Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ FBI found KPMG auditor via golf buddy, his lawyer says [Reuters] $$$ Goldman deal with union group lets Blankfein keep dual roles [Reuters] $$$ Underdog Undergrads From Jersey City Win Investing Competition [MarketBeat] $$$ Dodd-Frank 'Written in Anger,' Needs Fixing: Chamber CEO [CNBC] $$$ Chaos of rulings on toxic CDOs means uncertainty for investors [Reuters] $$$ Bank Investors Press Breakups to Add Value, Burnell Says [Bloomberg] $$$ 'Warehouse Games': Base Metals Supply Crunch on the Horizon? [AOL Energy] $$$ S&P, TrueEX Team Up on CDS Futures [WSJ] $$$ Beyonce and Jay-Z Cuba Trip Called ‘Educational’ by Treasury [Bloomberg]

Possible criminal probes for RBS, JPM executives; Regulators probe start-up valuations; Virginia man accused of 'assault' with a sandwich; and more.

Accused insider trader threw his phone in a creek to derail FBI; Regulator takes aim at ETFs; Wrong toppings on burrito prompt attack; and more.

$$$ Spain Banks Have $76 Billion Capital Deficit in Stress Test [Bloomberg] $$$ How Bernanke Pulled the Fed His Way [WSJ] $$$ The economics of video games [Wonkblog] $$$ Scaramucci Picking Singapore Shows City as Hot Spot [Bloomberg] $$$ "SocGen’s Alberts concedes that his writing can be 'pretty insane' and his market timing 'unerringly inaccurate.'" CNBC's headline is "Bernanke’s ‘Ruinous’ QE Will Lead to Rapid Inflation: SocGen’s Albert Edwards" [CNBC] $$$ 'Cocaine For Snowblindness': What Polar Explorers Packed For First Aid [NPR] $$$ AIG is looking for a credit analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Mortgage lending should provide a tailwind to bank earnings [Reuters] $$$ Ex-analyst at unit of Cohen's SAC Capital admits insider trading [Reuters] $$$ Global regulators follow UK’s Libor lead [FT] $$$ What Your Beer Says About Your Politics [Hotline] $$$ From King’s Daughter to Lowly Fishmonger: Lisa Marie Presley Is Selling Fish and Chips out of the Back of a Van [Gawker]