$$$ S&P, Fitch face trial over Italy downgrades [Reuters] $$$ Kodak Reaches Financing Deal With Bondholders [WSJ] $$$ "Investors in the US are marking down the prices of securities backed by mortgages written before the financial crisis, anticipating that the re-election of President Barack Obama presages a new effort to help distressed borrowers refinance their loans." [FT] $$$ Jon Ronson: "I had Nostradamus-like sense that things were going to go wrong in the credit industry. And I became obsessed with trying to tell that story. ... But I couldn't do it. And the reason was because I kept on meeting people who worked in the credit industry and they were really boring. I couldn't make them light up the page. And, as I said in The Psychopath Test, if you want to get away with wielding true malevolent power, be boring." [The Awl] $$$ "Armed with camcorders and Velcro, a group of activists hope to prove that mountain lions call Connecticut home despite assurances by the state that the big cats are out-of-towners." [Stamford Advocate] $$$ Consider buying a signed print of Geoffrey Raymond's Ina Drew painting [Annotated Paintings] $$$ LLOYD! [Sandy Sucks] $$$ A major insurance company is looking for quants to cover fixed income products, fixed income derivatives and structured products in New York [DBCC] $$$ Coal CEO Prays For Deliverance from Obama, Fires Workers [Slate] $$$ Exchanges Route Away From NYSE After Trading Glitch [WSJ] $$$ AIG keen to sell bank, expand in mortgages: CEO [Reuters] $$$ Baby Boomers Blunt Fed Easing While Saving for Retirement [Bloomberg] $$$ Businessweek criticized for poll on hot female b-school students [TBN] $$$ Mary-Kate Olsen Shares PDA with Older Boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy [toofab]

$$$ Italy Vote Shows No Clear Winner, as Berlusconi Rises [WSJ] $$$ Goldman to begin fresh round of job cuts [Reuters] $$$ Remember That $83 Billion Bank Subsidy? We Weren't Kidding [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ "There appears to be a growing trendin dying industries: The bosses want to hold their bedside vigils in private." [Deal Journal] $$$ Banks to sell complex CDS books [IFR] $$$ "As an excellent student with advanced people skills and an exciting resume, with a desire to be part of a challenging, energetic, and reputable organization, I will be a valuable addition to The Catholic Church as your new Pope." [McSweeney's] $$$ A top-tier investment management firm is looking for a VP, behavioral finance specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Wells Fargo Role in Heinz Deal Is Credit Negative, Moody’s Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Leveraged loan market on fire [Sober Look] $$$ Banks Face Key Hurdle in Libor Fight [WSJ] $$$ RBS plans IPO for U.S. arm Citizens in next two years [Reuters] $$$ John Kerry Brings Democracy to Kyrzakhstan [DI]

Credit Suisse chief on the way out; HSBC still in troubs; Goldman Sachs love emojis; Marijuana on the loose; AND MORE.

$$$ Senate approves Lew as new Treasury chief [Reuters] $$$ J.C. Penney Posts Large Loss as Sales Sink Further [WSJ] $$$ Wall Street Junk Kings Selling Debt Poised to Lose Value [Bloomberg] $$$ Volcker Rule Could Be Delayed — Again [WSJ] $$$ Occupy the SEC is suing to force regulators to work faster on the Volcker Rule [Occupy the SEC] $$$ MBAs Assemble a Malm Bed from IKEA [YouTube / Wharton Follies] $$$ Citi Private Bank is looking for a senior taxable fixed income portfolio manager in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Delaware Finds Reverse Triangular Mergers Aren't Assignments [Deal Lawyers] $$$ Calpers Claims Victory in Apple Vote That Didn’t Happen [Deal Journal] $$$ "If a bank's cost of funding went up idiosyncratically, the borrower got penalized. If a bank was suddenly considered a big credit risk, it's borrowers paid the premium." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ 'Marijuana cannon' used to fire drugs over US border seized in Mexico [Guardian] $$$ Sallie Krawcheck: Going To An All-Girls School Was Tougher Than Working On Wall Street [The Jane Dough]

$$$ Tables turn on Spain with pressure to seek bailout [Reuters] $$$ Maybe David Viniar will be Goldman's chairman when Lloyd retires and Gary is CEO? [WSJ] $$$ "The study found that for a sample of modifications to securitized subprime mortgages, a 10 percent reduction in the monthly payment was associated with a 4.5 percentage point reduction in the twelve-month redefault rate." [New York Fed] $$$ "If Apple continues on its current trajectory, something remarkable might happen on April 9, 2015, at around 11 a.m. That is, statisticians and investors I've spoken with say, a conservative estimate of when Apple could become the first company ever to be valued at $1 trillion." [NYT!] $$$ Welcome to the world Quartz! [Qz] $$$ "To call the Berenstains anthropomorphized bears insults both humans and bears." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Credit Suisse is looking for a research analyst for commodity strategies in asset management in New York [DBCC] $$$ U.S. Corporate Bond Tally Could Top $100 Billion in September [WSJ] $$$ Meredith Whitney is still pretty sure banks will fire a lot of people [CNBC] $$$ William Cohan confuses himself horribly about Whaledemort [Bloomberg] $$$ Mario Batali is paying $1.15mm to Del Posto employees to settle a lawsuit over wages, tips, overtime and discrimination [Diner's Journal] $$$ Hillary Clinton Aide Tells Reporter To “Fuck Off” And “Have A Good Life” [BF] $$$ Mitt Romney Doesn’t Get Why Airplane Windows Don’t Open [DI]

$$$ Foreclosure Settlement Amounts to Peanuts for Most Borrowers [AB] $$$ FBI probes trading as KPMG quits as Herbalife, Skechers auditor [Reuters] $$$ Big Dell Shareholder Prefers Two Rival Bids [DealBook] $$$ Ackman may be eyeing exit as JC Penney bet in tatters [Reuters] $$$ The leverage story banks want to hide [FT] $$$ DirecTV Adds DogTV Channel to Appeal to Canine Audience [Bloomberg] $$$ Regulators Are Concerned About Municipal-Bond Deals [WSJ] $$$ Activist Investors Find Allies in Mutual, Pension Funds [CNBC] $$$ Pimco's Gross Turns Positive on 10-Year Treasurys [WSJ] $$$ Swap traders’ morning fix under scrutiny [FT] $$$ Former Vice Mayor of Tennessee Town Accused of Terrorizing Dozens of Women with ‘Drive-By Masturbation’ [Gawker]

$$$ "UBS AG, Switzerland’s biggest bank, fired its head of credit-default swaps index trading, David Gallers, last week, with no plan to fill the position, according to two people familiar with the matter. Instead, the bank replaced Gallers with computer algorithms that trade using mathematical models." [Bloomberg] $$$ Morgan Stanley should not boost bond trading: analyst [Reuters] $$$ Sheila Bair has a crazy plan for Congressional pay-for-performance [Fortune] $$$ Goldman Research Implies Big Obama Electoral Win [Deal Journal] $$$ “One of the most striking differences between U.S. presidents is how they choose to stock the White House bar.” [TMN via The Hairpin] $$$ A premium bank is looking for an analyst or associate candidate for the Corporate Strategies group within the investment banking division in New York[DBCC] $$$ Recycled legal claims make banks look like victims [Breakingviews] $$$ Citigroup Discloses Libor Inquiry in Singapore [WSJ] $$$ “Some genius paired 50 Cent's In Da Club with a video put out by the Jehovah's Witnesses to encourage deaf people not to masturbate” [Kottke] $$$ Defendant In Murder Trial Who Wanted To Get Back To His Cell In Time For Monday Night Football: “I Did it, So What?” [Deadspin]

Yahoo can't catch a break; Bangladesh central bank weighs lawsuit against NY Fed over cyber heist; Angry California man throws 13-foot python in Sushi restaurant; and more.