In 2008, Fursa Strategic Alternatives, an asset management firm run by Massapequa resident William F. Harley III, informed investors that it would be closing its doors and returning everyone's money. As some money managers can likely attest though, making the decision to close up shop (and writing people to say as much), doesn't mean you're emotionally ready to do so. Harley, for example, couldn't shake the feeling that he was put on this earth to be an investor and, god damn it, he was going to invest until the day he died. So he did what any rational human being in his position would, and decided to just, you know, hang on to his clients' money for a while. Of course, the pesky little varmints kept calling, so he had to disconnect the phones and to avoid an awkward confrontation wherein they appeared at the firm's building demanding their cash in person, he moved HQ into the basement of one of his other businesses, a Hooters restaurant. That got people off his tail for a while but, unfortunately, they popped up again and this time are taking legal action. The Claude Worthington Benedum Foundation filed the lawsuit last month in the Court of Common Pleas in Allegheny County, Pa. It has since been moved to federal court in the western district of Pennsylvania. The charity said in its lawsuit that William F. Harley III continued operating Fursa Strategic Alternatives from the basement of a Hooters restaurant on Long Island after saying in 2008 the fund would close and the charity's money would be returned. Federal filings show Fursa in January was the largest investor in lingerie company Frederick's of Hollywood Group. A spokesman for Harley said lawyers for the fund sought unsuccessfully to contact the charity last year. Harley could not be reached for comment at his home Wednesday...The lawsuit points to Fursa's investment in Frederick's of Hollywood as evidence the company continued operating instead of returning its money. Fursa Alternative Strategies owns 46 percent of Frederick's, according to the company's proxy statement. While a spokesman for Harley has not denied most of the allegations, he does take issue with claim that Fursa has any sort of legitimate set-up at any of his four Hooters, telling Newsday that he "occasionally has business meetings at them, but doesn't run an office there." Charity lawsuit accuses Massapequa man of mishandling $2M investment [Newsday]

Remember Tara Obernauer? For a quick refresher, Obernauer is vice-president at Forbes Private Capital Group, whose resume also includes an MBA from Hofstra, five years as a compliance officer at Guggenheim Capital Markets, and dancing gig at a now-defunct gentlemen's club called Stringfellows, where she earned "$1,000 a night or more." Last July she started having an affair with Nassau County police officer Mike Tedesco,* which involved Tedesco literally and figuratively "parking his cruiser in Obernauer's driveway" during his shift and "hanging out on the couch, watching TV, and taking naps" while letting younger cops, who Tedesco referred to "assist bitches," respond to calls. The reason we know all this is that Mike's bosses "compared reports by Obernauer's neighbors with GPS records from his squad car, [which] showed at least 57 visits" at times he was supposed to be working, and then cross-referenced them with Obernauer, who had no intention of covering for Tedesco after she learned he was married with kids.** Anyway, in April Obernauer got an order of protection against the guy, fearing retaliation for not telling Internal Affairs that he was "just a friend who stops by once in a while," as per his request,** and now she wants Nassau County to cough up a few million for unleashing this animal on her. The mistress of a married Nassau County cop — who enjoyed more than 100 nights with him while he was on duty — is threatening to sue the county for $10 million because it didn’t prevent the couple’s steamy romance. Sexy Wall Street exec Tara Obenauer, 42, has filed a notice of claim saying that she intends to sue Nassau County and the Police Department because officials were “negligent” for not keeping Officer Mike Tedesco from visiting her house while he was on duty. “As a result of the County and Tedesco’s negligent and intentional acts, Claimant has suffered and sustained severe and substantial emotional damages,” the notice of claim said. Here's what Nassau County Attorney John Ciampoli had to say about that: “I just think it’s rather ironic that she’s filing a notice of claim against the county. Because, based on what has been reported in the press, she was receiving from the county Police Department a lot more than others were receiving.” *Who showed up to her house claiming he'd received a report of loud music, after a colleague who knew Obernauer piqued Tedesco's interest by telling him "she was good-looking." **To which she responded "They have your GPS records, you moron. I'm not perjuring myself for you. We're over and I want my key back."

Plus: Puerto Rico, Vietnam, California pot, "Alabama man offering $10,000 to find him a girlfriend"; and more.

Back in May, we had a frank discussion about drinking with colleagues and/or clients after work. Specifically, how many drinks one should put away in order to have a good time but not cross any unfortunate lines. At the time, we used a young lady named Sophia Anderson as our guide and said that, assuming you have the tolerance of a 21 year-old female and considered being arrested post-Happy Hour for driving your through a stranger's house one of those lines, no more than a dozen beverages should be consumed, with fourteen being the absolute max. Today we have just a quick update, to those for whom it bears mentioning, that if you're going to ignore said guidelines and have that fifteenth cocktail shortly before accepting a ride home from an equally sloshed coworker who confuses someone's front lawn/foyer/kitchen/backyard patio with the road, you should probably not agree to lie to the police and say you were the one driving. Not even if you're secretly in love with him or her; not even if he or she promises to take take you on vacation after all of this blows over; not even if you were passed out the whole ride and a bit disoriented after "[waking] up as the incident occurred and the car drove through the house." The sneaky punk who conned his drunk and coked-up girlfriend into taking the DWI rap for crashing through, and trashing, a Long Island home in his mom’s Mercedes convertible, was finally charged today with the May 28 crash and ordered held without bail. Suffolk DA Tom Spota said Dan Sajewski, 23, tricked Sophia Anderson, 21, into telling cops that she was behind the wheel when he crashed through the Huntington home of a 96-year-old woman – taking a 30-foot tree with him from the front to the back yard. Spota said the incredible demolition derby was the end result of a night of boozing and cocaine snorting at the $1.7 million mansion of Sajewski’s parents in exclusive Lloyd Harbor – when Sajewski and Anderson took a high speed joyride for more beer. ``We know what really happened that day,’’ said Spota at a press conference after the court session. He said the couple, along with three pals, were doing shots of Jack Daniels and snorting coke at Sajewski’s doctor dad’s home until 4 a.m. The crash occurred during a trip for more Heineken beer, while Sajewski was driving, said Spota. He said Anderson was passed out in the passenger seat and ``told us she wakes up as the incident is occurring and they were driving through the house.’’ Spota said Anderson ``was in love with him’’ and agreed to take the rap, after he promised to pay her bail and legal bills – and take her on a vacation. He broke his word and she revealed it was all a lie. The DA said that when an x-ray technician at the hospital told her she could not have been the driver because of her injuries, Anderson told him ``it’s a little too late for that.’’ LI punk held without bail for May 28 crash that destroyed elderly woman's home [NYP via DI] Earlier: Area Drunk Offers Handy How To Guide Re: Not Being Labeled “That Guy (Who Uses The Front Door Of A House As A Garage Door)” At The Office

Ten years ago, Carl Icahn hired his son Brett to be an analyst at Icahn Enterprises and the kid didn't fuck anything up so he got to keep his job. Two year ago, Carl gave Brett and another employee, David Schechter, $300 million to invest under the "Sargon portfolio," and the guys returned 96 percent (before fees) through June. Last month, Carl tossed the duo an additional $3 billion and a contract that expires in 2016, at which time Papa Icahn will either officially Brett a worthy successor or offer to serve as a reference for his next gig. Under a 46-page legal agreement filed with federal regulators last month, Brett Icahn and Schechter will get to invest their boss’s capital in companies with stock market values between $750 million and $10 billion. The deal may free the elder Icahn, who still has final say over many aspects of the portfolio, to focus on larger targets for shareholder activism. Brett, who turns 33 this month, along with Schechter has been running $300 million for his father, who owns more than 90 percent of Icahn Enterprises LP, a holding company with $24 billion in assets including activist investing partnerships as well as the Tropicana casinos, an oil refiner and an auto-parts maker. The arrangement expires after Carl turns 80 in 2016, giving Brett the chance to both prove his mettle as a successor and develop a track record to start his own hedge fund. After hiring Brett as an investment analyst a decade ago, Icahn allocated the $300 million to his son and Schechter in April 2010 to invest in loans and securities of companies with less than $2 billion in equity value. Their investments, internally dubbed the Sargon portfolio, generated a gross cumulative gain of 96 percent by the end of June, according to a July 27 filing with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission...“These two guys doubled our money over the last two years,” the elder Icahn said in an interview. “You can’t complain about that.” Carl Icahn Hands Son Brett $3 Billion To Prove His Mettle [Bloomberg]