For Charlie Gasparino, nothing is more important than God, country, the ability to whale on his pecs, and shots.

It's unclear if Gasparino quizzed fellow steam room goer James Carville on how he keeps fit but it seems likely.

Hugh Hefner has done the veteran reporter a solid.

Charlie Gasparino's got a lot of problems with you people. And now you're gonna hear about them!

Late last week, investigative reporter Charlie Gasparino came out with a bombshell story: after reading former employee Greg Smith's allegation that he'd seen and heard colleagues refer to clients as "muppets," the British term for stupid people, the firm launched an investigation into the claim (e.g. searched emails for said word). On Friday, Gasparino breathlessly reported that while  Goldman did find some muppet mentions, they referred to the Jason Segal film and were not malicious in their intent (quoth CG: "GS found no evidence of malicious muppet talk in emails).  While a lesser journalist would have been content to take the source at his or her word, Charles Gasparino is no such journalist. He get kept digging on this one and now, amazingly, has more to add: "People close to Goldman tell FOX Business 98% of the email muppet use referred to the movie. Sources at Goldman also say the malicious muppet use in emails involves name calling among colleagues; apparently at Goldman they call each other muppet. Sources say the firm find no evidence so far to substantiate Smith’s claims that people were talking about clients.” Gasparino on Muppet Movie Referrals in Goldman Emails [FBN]

Charlie Gasparino examines the subtle differences between a "schmuck" and a "putz".