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Opening Bell: 3.18.15

Greece; Herbalife, Tim Sykes; Geese.
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Herbalife wins dismissal of U.S. 'pyramid scheme' lawsuit (Reuters)
U.S. District Judge Dale Fischer in Los Angeles said on Monday that shareholders led by two pension funds did not show that questions raised about Herbalife's business by hedge fund manager William Ackman and various investigators showed that the company had fraudulently inflated its stock price.

How to Make Millions by Marketing Yourself as a ‘Douche Bag’ (Bloomberg)
Tim Sykes has a lot of advice for the people who aspire to be as wealthy as he is. Today, the chubby-cheeked 33-year-old has a characteristically strange suggestion: self-harm. “I want everyone to take your hands,” he says into the camera lens of his laptop, “and smack yourself in the face!”

IMF Considers Greece Its Most Unhelpful Client Ever (Bloomberg)
In a short and bad-tempered conference call on Tuesday, officials from the IMF, the European Central Bank and the European Commission complained that Greek officials aren’t adhering to a bailout extension deal reached in February or cooperating with creditors, said the people, who asked not to be identified because the call was private.

Technical Talks on Greece’s Bailout Not Going Well, Officials Say (WSJ)
A Greek official said the technical teams had gone beyond their role as fact-finders and had sought to intervene in politics, continuing a frequent line of complaint from Athens about the so-called troika of inspectors. The technical work is key to figuring out when Greece may run out of money and whether the rest of the eurozone is prepared to provide further support to the left-wing government.

British Airways Flight Reportedly Forced To Land Because Of 'Smelly Poo' (HP)
A British Airways flight that was traveling to Dubai on Thursday night instead returned to England when a "smelly poo" in the toilet made continuing to the final destination untenable, according to the Mirror. The decision to turn back came just 30 minutes into the 7-hour flight, the Telegraph reports.

Fed to Markets: No More Promises (WSJ)
The Federal Reserve is about to inject uncertainty back into financial markets after spending years trying to calm investors’ nerves with explicit assurances that interest rates would remain low. Ahead of their policy meeting that ends Wednesday, Fed officials have signaled they want to drop the latest iteration in a succession of low-rate promises—a line in their policy statement pledging to be “patient” before deciding to raise rates.

Sweden’s Central Bank Cuts Repo Rate to Minus 0.25% (WSJ)
Sweden’s central bank on Wednesday cut its main interest rate further into negative territory and said it is increasing its bond buying program to counter recent krona appreciation.

Many Blackstone M&A bankers expected to depart ahead of spin off to Taubman (Reuters)
More than half of the 17 senior managing directors working in Blackstone Group LP's mergers and acquisitions advisory arm may leave as the business is combined with the advisory firm headed by star Wall Street investment banker Paul Taubman, according to people familiar with the matter. Some of the bankers have decided to move elsewhere or retire, while others have lost out to people doing similar jobs at Taubman's PJT Capital LP, the sources said.

Goose Survives Dart Through Head (HP)
Some feathers were ruffled in Georgia when a loose goose was found with a dart through its head. Sandy Springs woman Meg Harrison told WSB-TV she was at Arlington Memorial Cemetery on Tuesday when she saw the injured animal and reported it. Though Gilbert was clearly unable to duck out of the way of the dart, it would appear the goose is doing swimmingly now. AWARE Wildlife Center said they plan to pick up Gilbert and rehabilitate the bird.

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