ECB boosts aid to Greece; People have intense feelings about Hamilton being bumped from the ten dollar bill; Libor; Uber; "Motorized surfboard filled with $100,000 worth of meth washes up in Tijuana"; and more.

Uber to raise $1 billion; Draghi and Yellen have work to do; "Teen Could Face Charges For Tossing Veggie"; and more.

$$$ Euro Zone Economy Shrinks, Darkening Outlook [WSJ] $$$ Greece seeks two-year austerity extension [FT] $$$ Knight Upgrade Triggered Old Trading System, Big Losses [WSJ] $$$ Goldman executives win dismissal of mortgage, TARP lawsuit [Reuters] $$$ Reservoir poised to seed ex-Goldman trader Buck Ratchford with $200M+ [AR-Alpha, related] $$$ You should really be drinking more at work [Economist] $$$ United Airlines Lost My Friend's 10 Year Old Daughter And Didn't Care [Bob Sutton] $$$ A Chicago hedge fund is looking for a senior quantitative strategist to develop commodity futures high frequency trading strategies [DBCC] $$$ In Ski-Resort Bankruptcy, FDIC Tries Role of Lender [WSJ] $$$ Steve Cohen, George Soros Purchased Facebook Shares [Deal Journal] $$$ Rakoff better able to review SEC-Citigroup pact [Reuters] $$$ BATS Proposes Plan to Offer Discounts on Retail Orders [Reuters] $$$ Biden Says Romney Would Put Middle Class ‘Back In Chains’ [Bloomberg] $$$ The head of Hungary's far-right anti-Semitic party found out he's Jewish [AP]

$$$ Ex-UBS Traders Offered Deal by U.S. in Rate Probe [WSJ] $$$ The history of the invention of Libor [Reuters] $$$ British MPs accuse US of anti-City agenda [FT] $$$ Why investors should avoid hedge funds [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ "Brazilian central bank employees staged their first work stoppage in five years today ... demanding an average pay increase of 23 percent to compensate for inflation since June 2008." [Bloomberg via Slate] $$$ Pole Vaulter Realizes It’s Not His Day As His Pole Shatters Mid-Vault [Deadspin] $$$ J.P. Morgan is looking for a Java developer to work on interest rates derivatives pricing [DBCC] $$$ Carbon Credits Gone Awry Raise Output of Harmful Gas [NYT] $$$ "I propose an expanded system of company registration under which companies would have to trade in private markets for a seasoning period, with mandatory disclosure, before they would be allowed to sell their shares to the public at large." [Harvard Law] $$$ On retail vs. institutional investors: "As for small investors vs. little guys, there’s a difference. If you have enough money that you’re investing it through brokers, I personally don’t count you as small, even if you appear small to Goldman Sachs." [Mathbabe] $$$ A Hundred Horses Are Ford’s Pride After Flipping Tainted Banks is really a Bloomberg headline [Bloomberg] $$$ Beck's next album will be released only as sheet music [McSweeney's]

$$$ Argentina to Seize Control of Oil Firm [WSJ] $$$ World Bank picks Kim as next head [FT] $$$ Coty Tries to Rally Support for Avon Bid Amid Skepticism [DealBook] $$$ Brazil Cannibal Empanadas: Brazilian Women Murdered, Eaten And Made Into Human Pastries [HuffPo, congrats on the Pulitzer] $$$ PIMCO is looking to fill tax manager positions - in regulated and private funds - in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ New York Jets All-Pro D'Brickashaw Ferguson, will be on Wall Street (Exchange Place and Broad Street) at 3:45pm tomorrow as part of The Decathlon 2012. Ferguson will be demonstrating how The Decathlon uses performance-based donating ('charitybets') to raise money to support Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. He'll be charitybetting on any Wall Streeter to come out and participate in a Vertical Jump contest. Ferguson will have a Vertec (devise used at the NFL Combine to test vertical leaping) and a few thousand dollars - CASH - to donate to MSKCC. Jump 24-inches, Ferguson donates $100. Jump $26-inches, Ferguson donates $200. And so on and so forth. Registration for The Decathlon 2012 opens Tuesday, April 17th. The event is on Sunday, July 29th at Columbia University's Wien Stadium. $$$ For Two Economists, the Buffett Rule Is Just a Start [NYT] $$$ Following Other People's Stock Picks Just Got Easier but why? [Bloomberg] $$$ What is Carney talking about? [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ ECB staff demand inflation protection [Money Supply] $$$ Rock Out With Your Cock Out: Penis Warmers Are Now a Thing [Fashionista] $$$ Breasts lead to arrest of Anonymous hacker [CNET]

Greece deal reached; Hedge fund tears Sotheby's a new one; "Yellen Confronts Economists’ Ignorance"; Thin Mints shortage; AND MORE.

$$$ Dick Bové may be saved! [WSJ] $$$ ‘Sad and Depressed’ CEOs See No Light at End of Partisan Impasse [Bloomberg] $$$ George Soros says Obama victory means 'more sensible politics' [Reuters] $$$ Marc Faber seems to disagree [Bloomberg TV] $$$ Wall Street and the elections [FTAV] $$$ What Wall Street Needs to Know About Elizabeth Warren [DealBook] $$$ Diane Sawyer Knows You Think She Was Drunk Last Night [DI] $$$ Citi is looking for an ultra-high-net-worth banker associate in Beverly Hills [DBCC] $$$ Bank supervisor defends risk models [FT] $$$ French banks are getting into securitization [WSJ] $$$ Was Intrade being manipulated over the last month? [Overcoming Bias] $$$ "News Corp, the parent of Fox News, is one of the few stocks that’s up. I guess Obama is good for ratings." [CWS] $$$ How to De-Romneyize an Airplane [BBW]

$$$ Spain's Unemployment Jumps, Deepening Crisis [WSJ] $$$ "... the McClendon-[X] deal raises a number of concerns, some analysts said," for any X [Reuters, earlier] $$$ "Being violation-free alone does not guarantee that a public company or registered entity will not face the wrath of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission Division of Enforcement, its director, Robert Khuzami, told Thomson Reuters Tuesday." Good to keep 'em guessing. [Reuters] $$$ How to Leak to Gawker Without (Hopefully) Getting Caught, usefulness not limited to Gawker [Gawker] $$$ Who Was the Third Person in Bret Easton Ellis and Rielle Hunter’s (Aborted) Cocaine-Induced Threesome? [NYO] $$$ BNP Paribas would like to find an emerging markets equities analyst for its Boston office, if you know anyone [DBCC] $$$ Forget Bailouts, European Banks Needs Bail-Ins: Fitch [CNBC] $$$ After Quiet Years, British Regulator Gets Tough on Abuses [DealBook] $$$ Lazard profit drops on costs, but still beats Street [Reuters] $$$ Kyle Bass' Japan short gets the B-school case study treatment [AR-Alpha] $$$ Banks to Meet With Fed on Derivatives Rule [WSJ] $$$ Paul Ryan Suddenly Decides He Hates Ayn Rand [DI]