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Write-Offs: 4.6.16

Citi will limit executive pay when investor returns fall; Jamie Dimon says lay off big banks; Penis Ring Sparks Bomb Alert In German Casino; and more.

Write-Offs: 07.13.12

$$$ U.S. investigates whether JPMorgan traders hid losses [Reuters] $$$ Was JPMorgan's restatement actually an elaborate plot to get Ina Drew's comp clawed back? No? [Felix Salmon] $$$ Fed May Need To Begin New Asset Purchases, Lockhart Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Mets star Dykstra pleads guilty in bankruptcy fraud case [NYP] $$$ "You have to sit there in silence, and you just get up every day and beat your head against the wall," but for that (and ratting out Countrywide) they'll pay you $14.5 million [Reuters] $$$ Q&A: The Gourmand Behind New York's $666 'Douche Burger' [BW] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a VP-level Group Finance COO business manager [DBCC] $$$ Spanish Bank Borrowing from ECB Surges [WSJ] $$$ Italy sells debt despite downgrade [FT] $$$ Visa, MasterCard in $6 Billion Settlement Over Surcharges [WSJ] $$$ Wealthy Homeowners Brace for 'Mansion Cliff' [CNBC!] $$$ Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network Is Being Dropped Because Your Provider Is Being a Giant Douche [McSweeney's]

Write-Offs: 3.13.15

Janet Yellen is watching you Tweet; Buffett's 2014 compensation down; "Bride backs out of marriage to math-challenged groom"; AND MORE.

Write-Offs: 10.12.12

$$$ Nobel Peace Prize for European Union, Mired in Crisis [NYT] $$$ JPMorgan cuts banker pay, a sign of more frugal times on Wall St [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Ex-Programmer Asks Court to Throw Out Charges [WSJ] $$$ Workday Soars 74% in Debut [DealBook] $$$ My Employees 'Filled With Anxieties These Days': Wynn [CNBC] $$$ Secret Service agent arrested in Miami after passing out drunk on a sidewalk [NYDN] $$$ French towns launch debt strike over "toxic" Dexia loans [Reuters] $$$ Repealing Deductions Pays for 4% Tax Cuts, Study Says [Bloomberg] $$$ RBS Says Santander Drops 1.7 Billion-Pound Purchase [Bloomberg] $$$ Wyclef Jean's charity in Haiti allegedly isn't so great, though his watch collection is [NYT] $$$ Gawker gives (excellent) investing advice [Gawker]

Write-Offs: 01.30.13

$$$ Facebook Earnings Beat; Profit Margin Falls Sharply [CNBC] $$$ U.S. Economy Unexpectedly Contracts in Fourth Quarter [WSJ] $$$ Is Renaissance Technologies Falling off the Mark? [II Alpha] $$$ Draghi Bank of Italy Knew of Monte Paschi Missteps in ’10 [Bloomberg] $$$ New BlackBerry won't have BrickBreaker [DealBook] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a sales officer for trade finance solutions in New York [DBCC] $$$ Venezuela's bonds have had a 14.7% annual return [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman Sachs braces for bond market blow up [Fortune] $$$ Treasury Posts Losses on TARP Auctions [WSJ] $$$ "What is the problem with Internet trolls? Why do people dislike them so much? Is it just an example of following-the-herd mentality? Some kind of deeper prejudice? A love of bridges? What is the source of this animosity? Why does it perpetuate itself? Where did this prejudice come from?" [The Awl]

Write-Offs: 3.30.15

Bernanke is bloggin'; Lawmakers have their eye on SEC; "An Automatic Jell-O Shot Machine Is Coming To A Bar Near You"; and more.

Write-Offs: 12.3.15

Yellen just about ready to do this; Alleged spoofers charged; JPM buries whale; "Pennsylvania Officials Stumped Why Town Smelled Like Cat Pee"; and more.