Gross says avoid bank stocks; World's no.2 currency trader expects dollar to surge; NY Woman caught driving with elaborate cardboard license plate; and more.

$$$ S.E.C. Acts on Suspicious Heinz Trading [DealBook] $$$ Facebook says target of sophisticated hacking attack [Reuters] $$$ Gleacher Won't Explore Merger for Now [WSJ] $$$ Berlusconi defends need for bribery [FT] $$$ "My grandkids always beat me at Rock Band. And I say, Listen, you may beat me at Rock Band, but I made the original records, so shut up." - Paul McCartney [Arts Beat] $$$ A multi-strategy hedge fund is looking for an FX quant/strategist in NY, Chicago or London [DBCC] $$$ Warren Buffett might buy some other companies, or he might not [Bloomberg] $$$ Warren Buffett’s Kind of Deal [DealBook] $$$ Dealpolitik: Heinz Deal Introduces a New Twist on Reverse Breakup Fees [Deal Journal] $$$ Could Dodd-Frank be unconstitutional? No? [Wonkblog] $$$ San Diego shocked by ex-mayor’s BILLION-dollar gambling losses [AP]

Valeant says short-seller's report is BS; Credit Suisse is a less hot version of UBS; Warren Buffett's li'l millionaires; The return of Greg Smith; "Alleged wedding crasher bites officer, police dog"; and more.

HSBC whistleblower; Goldman social-networking service; Morgan Stanley pay; Man caught driving in HOV lane with passenger made of "large popsicle sticks"; AND MORE.

Ex-BankAtlantic CEO gets bar, fine; "Alleged penis-measuring exec charged in blood diamond scam"; Uber v. Brazil; "A Harvard employee has been accused of stealing $80,000 from the university and spending it on Lego and Apple products."; and more.

$$$ Central banks ready to combat Greek market storm [Reuters] $$$ Things to know about the London Whale and capital models [DEM] $$$ Things to know about TARGET2 balances [Felix Salmon] $$$ Things to know about EFSF and ESM leverage and guarantees [TF] $$$ Here is a behavioral economics paper with the keywords "anti-social behaviour, nastiness, money-burning" [Universitat Jaume via Robin Hanson] $$$ "I have been a judge in the Miss Universe pageant three times, and I assure you it is not fixed. Even though Donald Trump made it very clear to us whom he would vote for, I always voted my conscience. ... I voted for the contestant I thought was the most beautiful." [The Daily] $$$ You should really think about becoming a credit analyst for BNP Paribas in New York [DBCC] $$$ Quest Software Brings in Competing Bid Using Clever Corporate Engineering [Dealpolitik] $$$ Maiden Lane Loans Repaid, but Assets Still Need to Be Sold [DealBook] $$$ Ray Dalio Is Building a Baseball Card Collection [NYM] $$$ The Nobel Foundation lost some money in the stock market [Fortune] $$$ Man Who Saved Mouse from Being Eaten By Cat Catches Black Plague [Gawker]

$$$ G8 leaders urged to focus talks on growth [FT] $$$ JPMorgan Returned $168M To MF Global, Trustee Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Chesapeake Cuts Board Compensation [WSJ] $$$ Ben Horowitz: MBAs aren't as bad as everyone thinks [PandoDaily] $$$ Bloomberg TV's Matt Miller vents about Nasdaq FB glitches to NYSE traders [Bloomberg TV] $$$ Boston radio talk show host Howie Carr released evidence that appears to confirm [Elizabeth] Warren may have plagiarized at least three of the five recipes she submitted to the 1984 Pow Wow Chow cookbook edited by her cousin Candy Rowsey. Two of the possibly plagiarized recipes, said in the Pow Wow Chow cookbook to have been passed down through generations of Oklahoma Native American members of the Cherokee tribe, are described in a New York Times News Service story as originating at Le Pavilion, a fabulously expensive French restaurant in Manhattan. The dishes were said to be particular favorites of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Cole Porter. The two recipes, "Cold Omelets with Crab Meat" and "Crab with Tomato Mayonnaise Dressing," appear in an article titled “Cold Omelets with Crab Meat,” written by Pierre Franey of the New York Times News Service that was published in the August 22, 1979 edition of the Virgin Islands Daily News ... [Breitbart via DI] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a VP in Global Regulatory Policy in New York [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan to be haunted by change in risk model [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan unit has $100bn of risky bonds [FT] $$$ Galleon prosecutor aims to cement legacy in U.S. Gupta trial $$$ The government should fine the hell out of Rajat Gupta instead of criminally prosecuting him [Slate] $$$ Cannibal allowed to leave mental hospital for a stroll, just four years after he beheaded and ate sleeping bus passenger [Daily Mail]

$$$ Yahoo Sales, Profit Top Estimates Amid Mayer Turnaround [Bloomberg] $$$ Farallon’s Founder to Leave by Year End [DealBook] $$$ BofA-Merrill Hires Top Broker From Morgan Stanley [Deal Journal] $$$ The World Financial Center will be renamed "Brookfield Place" [NYO] $$$ Marissa Mayer's baby is named Macallister Bogue [Fortune] $$$ Sorry, nerds: Popular kids earn more in the long run [WonkBlog] $$$ William Blair is recruiting for an Analyst - Special Situations & Restructuring to join the Corporate Finance team in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ Is Mary Schapiro leaving the SEC soon? [FBN] $$$ CLOs stage comeback in US [FT] $$$ McSweeney's has a financial economist talking about debt [McSweeney's] $$$ "Is he a Columbia asshole or a Harvard asshole? The answer is important, because those are two very different types of asshole. Both are obsessed with showing you how smart they are, but the Columbia asshole does it by telling you everything he knows, while the Harvard asshole does it by acting bored with whatever you say. The Harvard variety is at least laid back, and the Columbia variety can be interesting; but put them together and you have a world-weary pest." [NR via IvyGate] $$$ Heinz Counterfeiting Operation Ends in Ketchup Explosion [Grub Street]