Stress tests; Tech bubbles; The Millennial Whose Job Is to Taste Bourbon; Octopus escape artists; AND MORE.

Pimco sues Citi; Barclays settles Libor; "Sumner Redstone Denies Ex-Girlfriend's Claim He's Incapacitated"; and more.

$$$ There's an EU summit going on [Bloomberg] $$$ There was a Supreme Court decision today [Slate] $$$ EFSF/ESM 2ndary market bond purchases wouldn’t bring much relief [Megan Greene] $$$ Neither will Eurobonds [EconoMonitor] $$$ JPMorgan to announce $5bn ‘whale’ loss [FT] $$$ Local Porn Stars Will Make Good on Offer to Give Anyone a BJ After Heat Championship [Miami New Times] $$$ BoNY Mellon is looking for a prime brokerage salesperson in Jersey City [DBCC] $$$ PIMCO's Gross: U.S. is "best of the worst" investment [Reuters] $$$ Moody’s downgrades eight Brazilian banks [FT] $$$ Cravath, Swaine & Moore Names a New Leader [DealBook] $$$ Are Shareholders Ruining Corporations? [Gawker] $$$ Italy 2 - 1 Germany [WSJ]

$$$ Spain Banks Have $76 Billion Capital Deficit in Stress Test [Bloomberg] $$$ How Bernanke Pulled the Fed His Way [WSJ] $$$ The economics of video games [Wonkblog] $$$ Scaramucci Picking Singapore Shows City as Hot Spot [Bloomberg] $$$ "SocGen’s Alberts concedes that his writing can be 'pretty insane' and his market timing 'unerringly inaccurate.'" CNBC's headline is "Bernanke’s ‘Ruinous’ QE Will Lead to Rapid Inflation: SocGen’s Albert Edwards" [CNBC] $$$ 'Cocaine For Snowblindness': What Polar Explorers Packed For First Aid [NPR] $$$ AIG is looking for a credit analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Mortgage lending should provide a tailwind to bank earnings [Reuters] $$$ Ex-analyst at unit of Cohen's SAC Capital admits insider trading [Reuters] $$$ Global regulators follow UK’s Libor lead [FT] $$$ What Your Beer Says About Your Politics [Hotline] $$$ From King’s Daughter to Lowly Fishmonger: Lisa Marie Presley Is Selling Fish and Chips out of the Back of a Van [Gawker]

$$$ Slow U.S. Hiring May Spur Fed [WSJ] $$$ Germany faces ECB backlash [FT] $$$ Dealer inventories of corporate bonds are at a ten-year low [FTAV] $$$ New York AG Eric Schneiderman's investigation into whether private equity firms illegally converted ordinary income into capital gains is complicated by the fact that ordinary income and capital gains are taxed at the same rate in New York [Reuters] $$$ "From 1971 to the present, money market funds without defaulted securities would have a shadow NAV below 0.995 15.4% of the time" due to interest rate movements [Aleph Blog] $$$ Wells Fargo broke into a house, took all the owners' stuff, destroyed it, found out that it was the wrong house [CBS] $$$ Peregrine Financial is missing its SpongeBob SquarePants silver coins [NYO] $$$ Citi is looking for an audit manager - mortgages in New York [DBCC] $$$ "Xstrata is indicating it thinks that retaining its management in the top positions may be worth more than that $4.5 billion. Now that is a valuable management." [WSJ / Dealpolitik] $$$ ICP Asset Management paid $23 million to settle its SEC suit over mismanaging its CDOs [SEC] $$$ Jim O'Neill hits out at 'weird world of benchmarking [Citywire] $$$ Rajaratnam's insider-trading appeal set for Oct. 25 [Reuters] $$$ World's Best Internship—Interviewing Porn Stars [CNBC] $$$ Restaurant Owner Creates Fake Sex Site Profile for Patron Who Posted Negative Review Online [Gawker]

China; Stress tests; Another broker cleared in Libor trial; "World's Greatest Athlete Plays Ping-Pong With His Penis"; and more.

$$$ S.E.C. Charges the Chinese Affiliates of 5 Big Accounting Firms [DealBook] $$$ Morgan Stanley wealth unit aims to close lending gap [Reuters] $$$ "Through the end of November, U.S. companies with below investment-grade ratings sold $854 billion in junk-rated bonds and 'leveraged' loans, a record amount that outpaces the $785 billion sold in all of 2011 and even the $825 billion sold in 2007 before the financial crisis." [Deal Journal] $$$ Is Spying on Corporate Jets Insider Trading? [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ 180 Minutes With [former Top Model contestant and current Citi equity derivatives saleswoman] Kim Stolz [NYM, earlier] $$$ The Pope will start tweeting eventually [NYT] $$$ A top-tier financial firm is looking for a securities lending analyst in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Credit Suisse is paying negative interest rates on some SFr cash balances [FTAV] $$$ Lawyer Says Trader Did Not Manipulate Market [DealBook] $$$ Oracle to Pay Three Dividends in December [WSJ] $$$ El Paso's $110 mln settlement over Kinder Morgan deal approved [Reuters] $$$ Romney Rejoins Board of Marriott [WSJ] $$$ Whisky Restores Eyesight of Man Who Was Blinded by Vodka [Gawker]

$$$ Clogged Credit Weighs on Fed Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Expert Network Consultant Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ TCI is trying to guilt the FSA into forcing Lloyds to redeem TCI's holdings of Lloyds contingent capital bonds at above-market prices [FT] $$$ Homeowner Aid Boosts Big Banks [WSJ] $$$ World's population is 17 million tons overweight [MSNBC] $$$ Do you have plans on July 17? Do you fancy yourself a poker player? A really good poker player? Do you think you could beat David Einhorn, even if he’s working the table like it's Lehman Brothers circa 2007/2008? Do you think it would not be so awkward that the two of you could then enjoy a meal together and talk shop after which he picks up the tab? If David's not your thing, do you think you could envision yourself in the same scenario but with Bill Ackman? If you answered yes to most of the above and also consider yourself a fan of humanity, helping others and all that jazz, you should most definitely clear your schedule next Wednesday and sign up for a World Poker Tournament benefiting the Rewarding Achievement (REACH) program, which was co-founded by Bill Ackman and Whitney Tilson and gives inner-city high school students academic support and scholarships for passing AP exams. The event is taking place at Gotham Hall in New York and Einhorn (your competition) will be playing, as will Ackman and Tilson. Prizes for winners include the aforementioned meal (a lunch), with Bill, David or Seth Klarman, five nights at a “world-class private beach home in Lamu, Kenya,” a private poker lesson with 2011 WSOP bracelet winner and 2011 WPT Player of the Year, Andy Frankenberger and more. Alternatively, if you’re not one for cards but still want to help kids, you can also just register for the cocktail hour. $$$ Would you be interested in a job as a credit team director at a distressed-focused private equity firm in New York? What if I told you it's at Patriarch Partners? [DBCC, also available] $$$ Likelihood of Grexit Still 50-75%: Citi [CNBC] $$$ Alvarez Says Fed Hasn’t Seen Other JPMorgan Risk Problems [Bloomberg] $$$ Millionaire Parents Say Their Kids Are Unfit to Inherit [CNBC] $$$ New Jersey Man Allegedly Calls 911 From His Pillow Fort, Demands To Speak To Tim Tebow [DeadSpin]