Adultery Platform Service Ashley Madison Is Going Public To Help The Economy

If married folks give up that something something on the side, it's the flowers, jewelry and hotel rooms that suffer.
Author:
Publish date:

When AshleyMadison founder and CEO Noel Biderman takes his company public in England later this year, he hopes to raise $200 million and become not just the leader of a public company that helps married people f*ck someone who is not their spouse, but also the face of what he is calling the "infidelity economy."

In a (rather amazing) interview with Mashable, Biderman elaborated on his unique vision;

"There's a huge trillion-dollar economy that gets built on the back of unfaithfulness — the hotel industry, jewelry, flowers. Maybe there's an opportunity to participate one level deeper in that economy. If these two users want to connect and want to know the most reliable discrete places to do it, why not do those things? If you’re a public company i think they take your phone call."

It's an impressively optimistic idea to say the least. Essentially, Biderman seems to think that life as a public company will allow him to slip loose the moral bounds of private business life and have conversations that we can only assume will go something like this:

Devoutly Mormon CEO of Marriott Hotels: You want to what?!?!

Biderman: I want to do a partnership with Marriott that allows our users to see which of your locations is most ideal for a married father of four to bang a lonely housewife that he just met on the internet.

CEO: We're a strictly religious company that publicly endorses family values. This is outrageous!

Biderman: But our new "Secret Blue Box" deal with Tiffany is making millions.

CEO: Good DAY, Mr. Biderman!

Biderman: I have a ticker symbol.

CEO: (Pause) Go on...

Additionally, status as a publicly entity will allow Biderman to stop having to explain himself to the notoriously priggish money men of Wall Street. You see, Biderman has had just enough of begging for money in the boardrooms of VC firms and then having to deal with the emotional fall out of all the financial wives who just can't keep it in their pants.

"When I’ve tried to explain our unique metrics, it has been challenging and it will be challenging... I’ve been in meetings where everything is going well and someone storms out and I'll say, 'What's up with them?' Well their wife just went off with the neighbor."

With a stock price and market cap, Biderman won't have to put up with this desperate housewives sh*t anymore.

And speaking of anxious spouses, Biderman has an inkling that AshleyMadison is going to be politically resonant in 2016. Like White House big...

We really just felt this was our moment in time. And think about it: who announced her presidency last week? She could be the first president who is the current spouse of someone who is very publicly unfaithful. If the most powerful person in the world has lived through infidelity, we will have to start treating it differently.about it: who announced her presidency last week? She could be the first president who is the current spouse of someone who is very publicly unfaithful. If the most powerful person in the world has lived through infidelity, we will have to start treating it differently.

Kismet.

The CEO of AshleyMadison is ready to reap the riches of infidelity [Mashable]

Related