Skip to main content

Area Banker Wife Wants To Enroll Your Nannies And Maids In "Housekeeping Camp"

Apparently there are some "glaring weaknesses" in many a maid's repertoire.
  • Author:
  • Updated:

Does your help need some help? Would you consider giving them the day off on Sunday? If you answered yes and yes, pile 'em into the Suburban and breathe a sigh of relief: your days of panicking over someone polishing the crystal the wrong way or someone else f*cking up your 5-star Uber rating are over.

Servants to the wealthy can be sent next Sunday from 1 to 6 p.m. to Park Avenue mom Jill Wilpon’s Chorz housekeeping camp — where lessons include “table setting,” “understanding the workings of a Manhattan building,” “how to work your Cres-tron” home automation system or “load your washing machine” and even “keeping the best linen closet.” Even worse, nannies “from Tibet or Nepal don’t understand the infrastructure of a building. They don’t understand that a doorman will help you with a taxi.” Many can’t use Uber, she said. Wilpon, the Ivy League-educated founder of staffing service Chorz, whose “majority of clients” live on Park or Fifth avenues, will offer about eight slots per Sunday at her camp at $150 apiece.

And if anyone balks at the idea of a little professional development, just tell them to pack their bags and get the hell out of America, says Wilpon.

...are domestics resistant to spending a Sunday schlepping to Manhattan to learn the difference between a Viking and a Miele range? “People are open to it. There’s not one person in this country who isn’t looking to educate themselves, or do a better job,” Wilpon says. “If they’re not, they don’t belong in this country.” Before launching Chorz in 2011, Wilpon, who is married to banker Lyle Wilpon, spent more than 20 years in executive search and corporate staffing, including at Goldman Sachs.

Inside the posh boot camp for clueless maids and nannies [NYP]


Area Big Time Banker Can't Get Laid In A Whorehouse, Wants People To Know About It

What would posses a person to do an as-told-to article about the fact that after "failing miserably" at trying to pick up women in bars while working late for a "big name investment bank in New York," he turned to a "sugar daddy dating site" to bang hookers on his nights away from the wife and kids only to fall for one who ultimately broke his heart, because she was a prostitute and didn't actually care about him? The answer, quite, obviously, is love. Love, and a hope that a certain someone will see your story and upon reading that you're completely and totally over her and beating off call girls with a stick, COME RUNNING BACK. I met a girl who said she was a senior at Columbia University. She was so hot. Long brown hair, light eyes, perfect little body. We started an affair and I would give her a $4,000 "allowance" each month to meet once a week for dinner, or just to sleep together if I had a deal or a really late night in the office. Sometimes it was an hour of "small talk and sex," which, really, isn't a bad deal for her. $1,000 for an hour to spend time with me. I felt like a stud, there's no denying that, and I knew that she didn't want anything from me but money. She would come and go away when I made the signal I was tired. Soon though, I started liking her more than I wanted to. She was smart and kind of had a sarcastic sense of humor I found funny. I asked to see her more and she asked for more money. I said I couldn't do any more than that, and she said she couldn't give more time. It was the first time I felt a little hurt, like: "This person just wants my money and probably thinks I'm some gross horny old dude." The next month, I gave her the envelope of $4,000 upfront instead of $1,000 each time. We had sex, chatted, drank some wine and she left. I never saw her again. She wouldn't pick up her phone, then her phone was disconnected, my emails to her went unanswered, and her profile on the site was gone. It was such a blow. Though, really, what the hell did I expect? I guess some warning. Yes, some warning would have been nice but whatever. It's not like you're still upset about it. It's not like there isn't a moment of the day when she's not on your mind. It's not like you lie in bed at night thinking about her holding you. No, no sweat off your sack, which you use to bang hookers six at a time now that whatshername is out of the picture. Working girls line the street to get paid to have sex with you! You don't even have time to respond to all their propositions! The Jiltee has become the jilter! You can't even remember [theloveofyourlife]'s name you're so busy plowing prosties. After that, I decided I was going to go for quantity and not quality. I want hot girls, but a lot of them and substance isn't a huge deal. I have been with dozens of girls, and I give them money each time I meet them. The funny thing is often these girls are chasing me to sleep with them again, because it's easy money, but I just scroll through and delete or ignore the messages most of the time. Men want to be with a lot of women; it is just the truth...Maybe that first girl was a wake-up call. I'm already married. I don't need a steady mistress. But I have one or two I always go back to if I can't find someone I like, which happens a lot....I'm not hurting anyone by doing this. I'm always safe and upfront if I meet someone and know it won't happen. I just pay for the drink and let them know and leave, like "No deal, sorry." It is just like any deal. You have to know how to close it and have to know when you're not interested in putting in the effort to see it through. Why This Married Wall Street Banker Pays For Sex [Buzzfeed]

10 Year-Old Summering In The Hamptons With Full-Time Nanny, Filet Mignon Dinners, Private Jet Rides Doesn't Think Doubling His Allowance Is Too Much To Ask

Attention mom and dad of this anonymous pre-teen: apparently it's time to loosen the purse strings, ya cheap pricks.