Bernie Sanders Wants To Bring His Unholy Hatred of Wall Street to The White House

A socialist from Brooklyn announces presidential bid... No, not that one.
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We hope you like hearing things being referred to as "Orwellian" because Bernie Sanders is running for president.

The Vermont Senator with the Brooklyn accent is the only registered Socialist in Congress, and believe it or not homeboy is not a huge fan of the financial sector.

In fact, Bernie's smoldering disgust with Wall Street makes Rand Paul look like Andrew Ross Sorkin.

Seriously, he f#cking loathes you finance guys.

If you're unfamiliar with Sanders Style, here are some highlights of Bernie's thoughts about Wall Street.

On credit:

What Wall Street and credit card companies are doing is really not much different from what gangsters and loan sharks do who make predatory loans. While the bankers wear three-piece suits and don't break the knee caps of those who can't pay back, they still are destroying people's lives.

On regulation:

You know, I think many people have the mistaken impression that Congress regulates Wall Street. In truth that's not the case. The real truth is that Wall Street regulates the Congress.

On corporate culture:

Let us wage a moral and political war against the billionaires and corporate leaders, on Wall Street and elsewhere, whose policies and greed are destroying the middle class of America.

On executive pay:

CEOs of large corporations earn 400 times what their workers make. That is not what America is supposed to be about.

Throughout his career as a mayor, congressman and senator, Bernie has also shared his thoughts on the Fed (not a fan), the Post Office (huge fan), and imposing a transaction free on Wall street firms that would mitigate risk to the economy (literally his idea).

But here's the thing about Bernie; he doesn't really want to be president. His candidacy in fact seems to be entirely about forcing Hillary Clinton to stop being a Wall Street stooge.

Mr. Sanders’s bid is considered a longshot, but his unflinching commitment to stances popular with the left — such as opposing foreign military interventions and reining in big banks — could force Mrs. Clinton to address these issues more deeply.
“I think it is time for the American people to say enough is enough,” he said in an interview. “We need an economy that works for all of us and not just for a handful of billionaires.”

So Bernie's in, y'all! Start planning those Sanders 2016 fundraisers and invite all your hedge fund friends. They might come if only to see his wondrous hair.

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