Is your title chief executive officer? Are you thinking of (circle all that apply:) Cheating on your spouse; engaging with pay-to-play lays; doing enough drugs that Hunter S. Thompson would say "Whoa man, take it easy"; lying about using petty cash to retile your bathroom; slipping the guacamole girl at Chipotle your card and asking her if she wants a ride home on the private jet when her shift is over; spending the entirety of the company retreat holed up in your hotel room with a coterie of furries; running a methlab out of your executive washroom; sending your corporate bio to escort services as a way of saying "Hey, I'm legit"; using money earmarked for staff bonuses to fly in Prince for your wife's 50th; making Ike Turner look like a good husband; sending photos to your comptroller while wearing an Alex Trebek mask and nothing else?
If you said yes to any of the above and also care about your company's bottom line you should probably consider not crossing that bridge.
CEOs guilty of sexual misadventure, substance abuse, violence, and dishonesty are responsible for massive destruction in stockholder value, according to new research. A study by Professor Brandon Cline of Mississippi State University, with co-authors Ralph Walkling (Drexel University) and Adam Yore (Northern Illinois University), shows that companies experience an average shareholder loss of $226 million in the three days after the announcement of a CEO indiscretion. “The evidence shows,” said Cline in an interview with Fortune, “that activities of violence, substance abuse, dishonesty, and sexual misadventure in personal lives translates into damage to companies.” [...] Knee jerk reactions to the announcement of an extramarital affair or lying about qualifications would seem obvious, and an immediate damage to a company’s stock price is almost inevitable. But the damage lasts longer. Indiscretions are not just associated with short-term stock price damage. Stock prices at companies that suffered from CEO mess-ups fell in total by between 11% and 14% over the subsequent 12 months.
You're stronger than those military grade handcuffs and Christian Louboutins.