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Lawyer For Ex-Goldman Banker Accused Of Rape Working Off Turn Of The (19th) Century Definition Of Rape

He hasn't had his handbook updated yet.
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Remember Jason Lee? Ex-Goldman Sachs managing director accused in August 2013 of raping a woman he invited back to his Hamptons rental, after spending "hours trying to find a sex partner" but before he (allegedly!) hid from the cops in his Range Rover? His case went to trial this week and here's what his lawyer has to say about the whole thing:

“This is not a case about a rape in some back alley between people who are completely unknown to each other,” Lankler told Kahn. “This is completely consistent with the circumstances under which consensual sex occurs. Perhaps regrettable consensual sex, but consensual sex.”

Just so we're all clear, the only circumstances under which rape can occur are:

  • In a back alley
  • Between strangers

If you can't check these two boxes, by definition, no rape occurred. Case adjourned.

Hamptons Rape-Trial Lawyers Spar Over Beach House Encounter [Bloomberg]


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Get Out Of Sahm Adrangi's Face With Your Breathalyzer Tests

The hedge fund manager would rather have his license suspended than submit to your silly little tests.

Macquarie Investment Banker No Fan Of The 'Turn Off All Electronic Devices' Rule

So Alan James didn't and this happened: One of Macquarie Group’s top banking executives in the US was offloaded from a Qantas plane in Los Angeles for alleged disruptive behaviour after refusing to turn off his mobile phone. The incident on board QF108 resulted in Alan James, a New York-based senior managing director for Macquarie, being offloaded from the plane in LA on May 22 and later stopped from taking a connecting flight to Sydney. The first incident occurred when a flight attendant told Mr James, who was seated in business class, to turn off his mobile phone while the Qantas aircraft was taxiing at New York’s John F Kennedy International Airport. The second involved a conversation with one of Qantas’s airport staff at LA International Airport, at which point he was refused travel on another Qantas plane to Sydney...was allowed to take another Qantas flight to Sydney the following day. The airline’s policy is to ban disruptive passengers from flying for 24 hours. A spokeswoman for the FBI confirmed that it was notified about an incident on board the flight between New York and LA but no federal charges were filed. Obviously what's unclear at this time is how egregious James' violation of the rule was (e.g. was he shouting into his phone moments before takeoff or simply scrolling through picture of Miranda Kerr, which he knew would be prohibited once he reached HQ? Reaming someone out about "this deal going up in flames" or quietly finishing an email to a reporter about how the NBA lockout was affecting his business?). These are the questions we need answering. Macquarie exec ordered off Qantas plane [Sydney Morning Herald] Investment banker kicked off flight from JFK to LAX after 'refusing to turn off cell phone' [NYP]

Lawyer For Guy Accused Of Sexually Harassing Employee, Forcing Her To Sleep With Him, Writing On The Internet That She's A Prostitute: "Mistakes" Were Made

Let he who hasn't sexually harassed an employee and then besmirched her name on the World Wide Web cast the first stone!

Lawyer: George Soros Reserves His Strength To Plow Through Large Numbers Of Women, Not To Throw Lamps At Them (Like They Do To Him)

If you were to have told me in August 2011 that a story about George Soros's love life involving women 60 years his junior, "on again, off again non-exclusive relationships," dream apartments, broken promises, and broken lamps would still be unfolding 19 months later and getting better at each turn I would have told you to check yourself. And yet it has! With an amazing update that involves George Soros allegedly being assaulted with the light fixture he allegedly assaulted his non-exclusive girlfriend with and an official reminder that George Soros has had sex with more women by 9AM than most people have in their entire lives.