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Now Here's Lynn Tilton, Live* From Her Living Room, Addressing The SEC Charges Against Her

Gather 'round, Securities and Exchange Commission.
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At the end of last month, the Securities and Exchange Commission accused Lynn Tilton and her firm, Patriarch Partners, of lying to investors about the value of underlying loans in three CLOs. Tilton, a Wall Street veteran who has made a name for herself covering her breasts with whipped cream and Jell-O shots and making her male employees lick/shoot them off her, posing for photos on the hoods of luxury vehicles, sending Christmas cards to clients in varying degrees of undress, and telling a joke about "universal lies [like] 'I won't come in your mouth'", has vowed to fight the charges. So far she's told the SEC to go f*ck itself (via lawsuit) and taken to Twitter to describe her battle as being a lot like that of David v. Goliath.

Kicking things up a whole bunch of notches, this week she hired to a film crew to produce the following:

While the entire thing is worth your time, our favorite parts are probably:

• The extremely dramatic music at the beginning, with audio of various reports on the story, and clips of her getting off planes and helicopters
• When she says her case has "captured the imagination of the American public"
• That she delivers her monologue on a couch surrounded by brown leather pillows
• When she addresses the SEC directly at the end as #fairfight, #fairforum, #davidandgoliath appear on a black screen

*Okay, not live, but in our hopes and dreams the above was filmed before a live studio audience


Lynn Tilton Taking It From Both Sides

The Patriarch Partners founder is now dealing with allegations of fraud from investors, in addition to those by the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Lynn Tilton Not Taking SEC Charges Lying Down

The Matriarch of Patriarch told the SEC to go f*ck itself-- via lawsuit-- today.

Lynn Tilton Still Has Her Dignity

You hear that, Securities and Exchange Commission?

And Now A Message From Lynn "Rambo" Tilton

The Patriarch Partners chief is taking her fight versus the Securities and Exchange Commission to the next, photoshopped level.

Getty Images/Alberto E. Rodriguez

Lynn Tilton Gets Calendar Reminder To Sue The SEC Again

It's important to set these things up or your might forget.

Whatever Doesn't Kill A Lynn Tilton Makes Her Stronger: Lynn Tilton

One day soon, probably when she's shooting a follow-up to her 1988 holiday card to clients seen at left, we'll think back on this setback and laugh.

How Would Lynn Tilton Punish Lynn Tilton?

Banning jello-shots from the conference room would certainly be an effective deterrent against fraud.