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Who Is Riding Off Into The Sunset With Mets Fans' Hopes And Dreams?

Hint: he might've called you at your office asking if you were looking for a new job.
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For shame.

Today is Opening Day in Major League Baseball. Which is not to be confused with yesterday’s Opening Night, consisting of only a single game that portends a further century of futility on the north side of Chicago. And with Opening Day comes the opening of a new era in New York Mets history. Mets fans hope it is the end of six seasons of losing baseball and the beginning of something called “meaningful games in September,” which have not been seen since the year 2008. But this is not the new era to which we refer. Nor are we talking about the much more important “era of being consistently better than the Yankees,” for whose predecessor you will have to go back more than 20 years, as the year 2000 does not count—for one, eras must last more than one year, unless it is the Bobby Valentine era in Boston, which felt very much longer than its actual 10 months, and, secondly, because superior regular-season records are erased when one loses to the inferior record-holder in the World Series. Nor, sadly, do we refer to the Steve Cohen era, which promised decades of consecutive championships before it was cruelly snuffed out for eternity by Yankees fan Preet Bharara prior to his own recent (and apparently permanent) ruin, precluding him from buying the letters that announced the name of his favorite team’s former home.

No, if it were possible, we refer to an even more tragic turn of events in Mets history. For this season marks the opening of a dark and eternal chapter in the story of the Flushing Metropolitans: the bullpen-cart-is-definitely-never-coming-back era. Because said bullpen cart has been sold, by a hedge-fund recruiter who once saw it sitting around a Long Island body shop, obviously, and probably not to the Mets, although Bartolo Colon could probably use the ride this afternoon in D.C.

A historic New York Mets bullpen cart was purchased for $112,500 at auction on Wednesday night at Sotheby's….

"Immortalized by its dramatic appearance at the monumental 1986 World Series Championship in which it entered the field of play following the culmination of the Game 7 win, it promptly ran out of power, adding further delight to the victory celebration.

Its failure to return home is, like the Cubs’ defeat last night, a dark omen. For while the Mets may return to winning more games than they lose this year, they shall never hoist the Commissioner’s Trophy while the bullpen cart remains exiled to some guy’s garage to be micturated upon by wild dogs.

Mets bullpen cart fetches $112,500 at auction [ESPN]
Mets bullpen cart on auction block [ESPN]


Wanted: Rich People To Crowdfund The Hopes And Dreams Of Staten Island

Yo, you wanna piece of this giant frickin' Ferris wheel over here?

Convicted Insider Trader Garrett Bauer Hoping College Kids Will Help Him Get Off

Remember Garrett Bauer? For those who need a refresher, GB was a trader (who "mostly worked from home") who was charged last year for running a decades-long insider trading scam with an M&A attorney, Matthew Kluger, that involved stealing information from several law firms. (In April 2011, 20 FBI agents knocked on Bauer's door to arrest him which, while terrifying, didn't come as much of a shock-- the duo had recently become suspicious that the authorities were onto them and, naturally, went about destroying evidence, a process Bauer recounted to a cooperating witness in a conversation he didn't realize was being recorded, telling the CC: "My heart was beating ten thousand miles an hour. I went right up to my apartment and I broke the phone in half and went to McDonald's and put it in two different garabage cans. And someone was watching me. I thought it was an FBI agent. And I asked him, 'Do you know me? You look familiar.' And, like, I was so panicked. I literally didn't sleep that entire night...I can't sleep. I am waiting for the FBI to ride into my apartment. I am on edge all night thinking they are coming in.") Anyway, Bauer ultimately pleaded guilty and is set to be sentenced today. Though he could receive up to 11 years in the big house, a judge will be taking into consideration letters "expressing support or urging leniency" sent on Bauer's behalf, some of which were written by fans he's gained working the college lecture circuit the past few months, explaining to undergrads why they don't want to follow in his footsteps (hint: it involves sleeping on bunk-beds). “I’m here hoping you won’t commit the same crime I committed, insider trading,” Bauer told the students at NYU’s Stern School of Business in February. “I feel remorse. That’s why I’m here. It’s my way of trying to apologize to everyone for what I’ve done and try to make amends.” Bauer said he hopes that his “scared straight” message, delivered in 147 speeches since last fall at business schools, law schools, churches and synagogues, will move the judge to grant him leniency. Sentencing judges can consider whether a defendant has accepted responsibility and shown remorse for his acts. “I’m not blind anymore,” Bauer said in an interview. “I see how wrong it was, how unfair it was to everybody else that’s trading. You get away with it once, and then you think you can get away with it every time. I almost never considered the question of getting caught. It was more a question of let’s figure out a way to make money and not lose money.” Bauer spoke several times a week in person or via Skype at schools including Harvard University, Yale University, the University of California at Berkeley, the University of Texas, the University of Michigan and Duke University. He booked his own speeches, sometimes called “Confessions of an Inside Trader.” Bauer gave the same basic narrative in two appearances observed at NYU, as well as at Cardozo Law School in New York, Drexel University in Philadelphia and a Rutgers University class in Jersey City, New Jersey. Bauer, lean at 5-foot-11 and 145 pounds, favors button-down shirts and khaki pants. He speaks rapidly in a nasal voice, lacing his account with jokes...In every talk to students, Bauer discussed how 20 FBI agents came to his apartment to arrest him and how they played the tapes for him, as well as his time in the Hudson County Jail. He tried hard to show no emotion to violent criminals. “Saying it’s a scary place kind of understates it,” he said. “It’s the scariest place on earth.” At least one professor believes Bauer's talk scarred his students for life, which should count for something. And according to Sameen Singh, a recent Stern grad who will soon start a job at Morgan Stanley, U.S. District Judge Katharine Hayden ought to go easy on the guy, who is just another bro. “I was impressed by how human he was and how his friendships and relationships played a role in his crimes. My friends were quite taken aback by how similar he was to them. He came from humble beginnings, and he’s not a deviant mastermind criminal. He’s just a regular guy.” Prison-Bound Bauer Reprises ‘Confessions Of An Inside Trader’ [Bloomberg]

Financial Advisory Firm Not As Supportive Of Employee's Dream Of Winning Survivor As One Might Have Hoped

Roberta "RC" Saint Amour is a Bear Stearns alum, winner of the 112th Wellesley College "Hoop Rolling" Competition, member of the first inaugural Ladies of Investor Relations list, and a girl with a dream. That dream? Winning the new season of Survivor: The Phillipines. Starting tomorrow, viewers can watch her go head to head with former San Francisco Giants second baseman Jeff Kent and the actress who played Blair on Facts of Life and while RC believes her time on Wall Street has prepared her well ("If I know how to play with the big boys of Wall Street, I can certainly play with the little boys in the Survivor sandbox,"she says), the $1 million prize is not necessarily in the bag. And on the off chance she doesn't emerge victorious, she'll be looking to one of you for gainful employment, as the management at Landmark Ventures was apparently not interested in coming along for the ride. Newsday: You worked for Landmark Ventures before "Survivor" taped. What's the status there? RCSA: They replaced me while I was gone, and I came back to no job, which was a little devastating -- that's the hardest part you go through with this wonderful experience: The sacrifices you make in order to have your dream come true. It's tough sometimes, but I try not to think about it. Cold and, also, yet another instance in which we can say "Jimmy Cayne would've not only held her job open but watched every episode, with a wheelbarrow of Funyons and a childlike sense of wonderment that can only come with burning through his weekly supply of 90210 Kush in one sitting." LI's R.C. Saint-Amour dives into 'Survivor' [Newsday] Survivor: RC [CBS] Roberta Saint-Amour [LinkedIn] Related: Hedge Funds’ Hottest Assets: The Ladies of Investor Relations [NYM]