Write-Offs: 4.16.15

Blackstone to pay huge dividend; Wall Street already betting on 2016; GoPro CEO is rich; "Police: Man on flakka claimed to be Thor, sexually assaulted a tree"; and more.
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Write-Offs: 5.27.15

Germany doesn't see Greece deal happening any time soon; Bill Gross says Bunds bet was 'well timed, not well executed'; The ghost of Lehman Brothers; "Man Named Bacon Assaults Person For Eating Sausage"; and more.

Write-Offs: 10.09.12

$$$ Goldman In Push On Volcker Limits [WSJ] $$$ Julius Baer May Cut More Than 1,000 Jobs After Merrill Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ Blackstone closes historic real estate fund on $13.3bn [PEI] $$$ Copenhagen IBOR has its own scandal [Macro Exposure, related] $$$ And State Street's Danish krone interest rate is negative 0.75% [Bloomberg] $$$ [Larry] Greenfield, who retired after a successful career at Opus Trading in Jericho, Long Island, says he would gladly trade his riches in exchange for finding a woman who meets his exacting standards: beautiful, thin, smart, Jewish, a sense of humor and from New York — but not an “alpha.” ... “I’m not a bad guy. I haven’t been to prison,” he said. “It’s just a very frustrating thing.” [NYP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a banking and cash management lawyer in Purchase, NY [DBCC] $$$ Imagine a country where challenging the ruling authorities — questioning, say, a piece of data released by central headquarters — would result in mobs of administration sympathizers claiming you should feel "embarrassed" and labeling you a fool, or worse. Soviet Russia perhaps? Communist China? Nope, that would be the United States right now, when a person (like me, for instance) suggests that a certain government datum (like the September unemployment rate of 7.8%) doesn't make sense. - Jack Welch [WSJ] $$$ Jack Welch ‘100%’ Right, Jobs Data Are Wrong: Trump [CNBC] $$$ The Private Equity Wizardry Behind Realogy’s Comeback [DealBook] $$$ "Savoring a long lunch after a morning tending to baby quince and pear trees, the French Senate's 78 gardeners are blissfully untouched by the economic crisis gnawing at Europe's core." $$$ Definitive Proof Rose And Jack Could Have Survived TOGETHER [BuzzFeed]

Write-Offs: 2.4.16

The Secretive Hedge Fund That's Generating Huge Profits for Yale; Marijuana sales jump; Wall Street cuts rates forecast; Pancake Rage Case Dismissed After No-Show; and more.

Write-Offs: 6.7.16

Activist investors have a new favorite target; U.S. regulators, FBI warn banks on cyber threat after Bangladesh heist; Woman busted for DWI blasts cops for ‘picking on rich people’; and more.

Write-Offs: 08.09.12

$$$ Osborne lobbies Geithner on StanChart [FT] $$$ Carlyle to Acquire Asset Manager TCW From SocGen [WSJ] $$$ Goldman Cleared in Mortgage Investigation [DealBook] $$$ Manchester United prices IPO below range, valuing club at $2.3 billion [Reuters] $$$ DC Man Orders TV From Amazon, Gets Assault Rifle Instead [USAT] $$$ A New York boutique firm is looking for a special situation analyst to analyze its special situations [DBCC] $$$ Yahoo May Reverse Alibaba Cash Plans [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Energy in U.S. antitrust probe [Reuters] $$$ U.S. Text Messaging Champion Is $50,000 Richer [BW] $$$ Naked Man Covered in Crisco Told Police He was ‘Looking for a Place to Party’ [Gawker]

Write-Offs: 5.11.16

Ackman says "material progress" has been made at Valeant; Rubenstein surprised macro hedge funds failed to spectacularly; Key West police rescue woman from giant banyan tree; and more.

Write-Offs: 4.20.15

Greece is still desperate; Hedge funds into single-bet ideas; "Why I started a financial-services firm for pot"; Michael Jordan versus LeBron James debate ends in arrest; AND MORE.

Write-Offs: 6.14.16

Platinum Partners to shut main hedge fund; Andrew W.W. Caspersen his with new charges; 11-foot alligator found in Florida drainage system; and more.