$$$ In Victory for Google, U.S. Ends Antitrust Investigation [NYT] $$$ Scandal Hits Greek Tourism Agency [WSJ] $$$ Fairytale of New York — in pari passu, anyway [FTAV] $$$ John McAfee Pimped Out 29 ‘Pillow Talk Masters’ to Spy on Belize: Here’s What He Found [NYO] $$$ Russia grants citizenship to Depardieu [FT, outstanding photo] $$$ A little bit of adolescent pushback, as teens begin to express their individuality, is good, said Leslie Whitten Baughman, a child therapist with a practice in Sacramento. But drugging your parents "would not be a healthy level of rebellion." [Sac Bee] $$$ A top electronic trading firm is looking for a C++ developer in LA [DBCC] $$$ Transocean to pay $1.4 billion for role in BP oil spill [Reuters] $$$ "Loblaw Buying Canada Safeway No Pipe Dream in Spinoff" [Bloomberg!] $$$ The Macroeconomics of Middle Earth [WCI] $$$ Why Are Dogs Racist? Canine Experts Speak [Gawker] $$$ Drew Magary profiles Snoop Lion (né Snoop Dogg) [GQ]

Pimco sues Citi; Barclays settles Libor; "Sumner Redstone Denies Ex-Girlfriend's Claim He's Incapacitated"; and more.

Gold; Greece; Bezos; "Oregon man uses drone to rescue stranded drone"; and more.

Lockhart sees rate hike in 2015; "How to Lose $667 Million in Bond Trades Without Trying"; Bitcoin; Petco deal; "Rapper Snoop Dogg starts site focused on weed"; and more.

$$$ Dow Hits Highest Close Ever [WSJ] $$$ Venezuela's Hugo Chavez dies from cancer [Reuters] $$$ FBI joins SEC in computer trading probe [FT] $$$ Wall Street 'Deal Toy' Indicator Flashes a Bullish Sign [CNBC] $$$ A Friendly Conversation with a Banker [The Billfold] $$$ There Is A Petition To Make R Kelly's “Ignition (Remix)” The National Anthem [BuzzFeed] $$$ An international trading house is looking for a Dodd-Frank compliance officer for its swap dealer business [DBCC] $$$ Citigroup Books $579M for Pay Plan Shareholders Panned [Bloomberg] $$$ Board Patience Wears Thin at Penney [WSJ] $$$ Buybacks, M&A, and de-equitisation [FTAV] $$$ ISDA to Send Credit-Default Swaps Changes to Traders [MarketBeat] $$$ The FBI is looking for a drone, if you've seen it [FBI]

$$$ Euro zone discussed capital controls if Greek exits euro [Reuters] $$$ Spain's Bailout Boost Quickly Turns to Rout [WSJ] $$$ Fed Says U.S. Wealth Fell 38.8% In 2007-2010 On Housing [Bloomberg] $$$ Bankers Complain of Tension With Fed Over Pay Restrictions [Real Time Economics] $$$ David Cameron left his 8-year-old daughter alone in a pub [AP] $$$ The world's oldest animal marriage looks set to have turtley ended after an incredible 115 years when the two Giant Turtles at an Austrian zoo refused to share their cage anymore. Zoo management have called in animal experts to try and give the pair counselling - feeding them romantic good mood food and trying to get them to join in joint games - but so far without effect. Zoo boss Helga Happ said: "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore." Bibi and Poldi have been a pair since before anyone alive today can remember - they have been together at the Austrian zoo in Klagenfurt for 36 years and before that they lived at Basel zoo in Switzerland. Zoo boss Helga added: "They are both 115 years old - they have been together since they were young and grew up together, eventually becoming a pair. But for no reason that anyone can discover they seem to have fallen out, they just can't stand each other." [Austrian Times] $$$ Intrepid Investment Bankers LLC is looking for an M&A vice president in LA [DBCC] $$$ U.S. high court to hear Amgen securities lawsuit case [Reuters] $$$ A stupid CNBC chart [Felix Salmon] $$$ A stupid Bloomberg headline [Strange Bloomberg Headlines] $$$ A yacht named the Blind Date exploded and sank in the Atlantic Ocean off Sandy Hook, New Jersey [nj.com] $$$ Jerry Sandusky's lawyer tells a jury: "You saw those 8 photos, cute kids" [Penn Live via Deadspin]

$$$ Regulator says no to Obama mortgage write-down plan [Reuters] $$$ Boehner, Reid reach early deal to avert shutdown [WaPo] $$$ Problems with a positive expected value lottery [Kid Dynamite] $$$ Problems with using Twitter signals in your quant fund [Willy Staley] $$$ J.P. Morgan Awarded ‘Best Trader’ For Second Quarter (Really) [Deal Journal] $$$ Snoop Lion explains name change [from "Snoop Dogg"], new focus [reggae] [CNN] $$$ Pimco is looking for a trade compliance analyst in New York and a trade compliance supervisor in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ SEC seeks more investor protections for U.S. muni market [Reuters] $$$ High frequency trading costs investors $2.5bn a year, or less, or zero, or benefits them, or something else [BBW] $$$ Switzerland is ‘new China’ in currencies [FT] $$$ FraudVille? Zynga sued for insider trading [Term Sheet] $$$ Happy 25th birthday, Microsoft PowerPoint! [Undercover Economist] $$$ The Porn Convention [Forbes]

$$$ Google Shares Fall on Premature Earnings [WSJ] $$$ Google and the send button ... [footnoted] $$$ "To be fair, we released our earnings yesterday afternoon on Google Plus." [@PendingLarry via Deal Journal] $$$ Smallest Stock Traders Hardest Hit as Commissions Decline [Bloomberg] $$$ Blackstone Swings to Profit of $622 Million in 3rd Quarter [DealBook] $$$ "Americans who say they work 75 hours a week tend to be exaggerating by 25 hours." [Qz] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a Sales Training Program Manager for their iShares division in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ Sprint Nextel assumes majority stake in Clearwire [Reuters] $$$ In Insider Trading Case, Drawing In David Ganek [DealBook] $$$ Ex-GE Bankers Jailed in Rigged Muni Bond Case [CNBC] $$$ William Cohan on Greg Smith: "He conned Grand Central Publishing, which paid him a reported $1.5 million for his 'tell-all' book about how the culture at Goldman Sachs had deteriorated during his 12-year tenure into something he no longer recognized, when really Goldman has always been a stinging scorpion. (Disclosure: my wife is the editor-in-chief of Grand Central Publishing, although she had nothing to do with editing Smith's book, and neither of us has read it.)" [Bloomberg] $$$ Republicans Pulling Money Out of Soup Kitchen Where Paul Ryan Pretended to Wash Dishes [DI]