Yahoo And Foursquare Are Totally Doing It, According To The High School Girls Bathroom That Is Tech Twitter

Have you guys even heard? It's ca-raaaaaazy.

Author:: Thornton McEnery
Publish date:: Apr 15, 2015

Oh my god you guys, Marissa is buying another startup that, like, nobody even uses anymore...

Whatevs, she is so basic...

I totes remember when Dens and Google broke up. So. Much. Drama. But I don't trust Marissa you guys...

I cannot believe her! Why would she play with Dens heart like that? Especially after Google? *sobs*

Thanks Swishy, you always know what to say to make me feel better.

OMG! Too. Soon!

Mayer.Dorsey

What we talk about when we talk about desperate tech companies.

Armstrong.Mayer

This was not what Verizon fell in love with over the phone.

Marissa.YahooJapan

Yahoo Japan is actually a good business, maybe because Yahoo doesn't touch it.

Mayer.Gould.Armstrong

Tim Armstrong is laughing his ass off right now.

Armstrong.Mayer

This engagement was never gonna work out, you guys.

MarissaMayerTiara

She might just pull a half-dead rabbit out of a badly-damaged hat after all, you guys.

Oath

Newly-minted "Oath:" wants you to know that things are coming from its colon.

Double M is basically the Rasputin of Tech at this point.