Foreign exchange manipulators, come on down!

A sushi boat? MAYBE.

Breathe easy, friends of Bob Diamond and the guy who wrote "Anything for you, Big Boy," as a response to the request, "Can you manipulate Libor for me today when you've got a sec? Thanks a mill." In this case we speak of Rachael Claire Martin, the ex-Barlcays employee who used customer funds to pay for breast augmentations, dental work, liposuction, drugs, alcohol, shoes, and jewelry, despite initially telling authorities she covered the tricks and treats with money she earned engaging in sex for payment (an excuse anyone facing questioning for their own alleged misconduct should feel free to use. Just because one judge didn't buy it doesn't mean another won't). Mother-of-one and law graduate Rachael Martin, 24, ‘spent money like water' after getting a job with Barclays in Liskeard, Cornwall, where she was responsible for dealing with cheques. The stolen cash paid for a breast enlargement, thought to be worth £4,000, dental work worth £1,700, and liposuction, as well as nights out, drink and drugs. She has now been jailed after stealing £46,000 in just two months from her employers. Extravagances included £1,687.95 at the Windsor Place dental surgery in Liskeard, and £500 on unspecified cosmetic surgery at Harley Medical, the court heard. Martin also lavished £670 at exclusive jewellers Tiffany, and £506 on a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. When she was arrested, Martin, from St Austell in Cornwall, told police she earned money as an escort in Bristol, adding that she was ‘a common prostitute’. But the claim was a cover for her criminal behaviour, said prosecutor Iain Leadbetter. Recorder Jeremy Wright jailed Martin, who has an eight-year-old son, for 52 weeks, telling her she had demonstrated a ‘concerted, clever and serious breach of trust'. Bank worker, 24, who stole £46,000 to fund boob job and party lifestyle told police she earned the money working as an escort [DM]

As you may recall, over the summer, former Barclays CEO Bob Diamond resigned in disgrace after revelations that bank employees had engaged in rampant rate rigging on his watch. And while the scandal clearly had an affect on his last performance review, Bob and friends o' Bob will be pleased to hear that it didn't actually hurt him too badly come pay day! In addition to a couple million pounds (for half a year's work), it was announced today that Diamond's 2012 package also includes lodging while he's visiting old colleagues in town, as well as a company car and driver. No need to see the guy reduced to dirtying his hands opening door or walking, when he's already been through so much.

Those rate rigging penalties aren't going to pay for themselves.

Ten years ago, Carl Icahn hired his son Brett to be an analyst at Icahn Enterprises and the kid didn't fuck anything up so he got to keep his job. Two year ago, Carl gave Brett and another employee, David Schechter, $300 million to invest under the "Sargon portfolio," and the guys returned 96 percent (before fees) through June. Last month, Carl tossed the duo an additional $3 billion and a contract that expires in 2016, at which time Papa Icahn will either officially Brett a worthy successor or offer to serve as a reference for his next gig. Under a 46-page legal agreement filed with federal regulators last month, Brett Icahn and Schechter will get to invest their boss’s capital in companies with stock market values between $750 million and $10 billion. The deal may free the elder Icahn, who still has final say over many aspects of the portfolio, to focus on larger targets for shareholder activism. Brett, who turns 33 this month, along with Schechter has been running $300 million for his father, who owns more than 90 percent of Icahn Enterprises LP, a holding company with $24 billion in assets including activist investing partnerships as well as the Tropicana casinos, an oil refiner and an auto-parts maker. The arrangement expires after Carl turns 80 in 2016, giving Brett the chance to both prove his mettle as a successor and develop a track record to start his own hedge fund. After hiring Brett as an investment analyst a decade ago, Icahn allocated the $300 million to his son and Schechter in April 2010 to invest in loans and securities of companies with less than $2 billion in equity value. Their investments, internally dubbed the Sargon portfolio, generated a gross cumulative gain of 96 percent by the end of June, according to a July 27 filing with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission...“These two guys doubled our money over the last two years,” the elder Icahn said in an interview. “You can’t complain about that.” Carl Icahn Hands Son Brett $3 Billion To Prove His Mettle [Bloomberg]