Each month, bond fund manager Bill Gross writes an investment outlook letter to clients, friends, family, and the internet at large. He talks about the state of the financial markets, of course, but he also devotes considerable space to whatever happens to be on his mind at the moment. In the past, topics have included: the evils of the automatic flushing toilet; how to dress on the golf course if you're carrying around a few extra pounds; a girl cat named Bob; the erotic pleasures of a good sneeze; failing to curb his dog; and not having sex in the backseat of his car during college. This month, though, things took a considerably darker turn. Sayeth Bill:
Having turned the corner on my 70th year, like prize winning author Julian Barnes, I have a sense of an ending. Death frightens me and causes what Barnes calls great unrest, but for me it is not death but the dying that does so. After all, we each fade into unconsciousness every night, do we not? Where was “I” between 9 and 5 last night? Nowhere that I can remember, with the exception of my infrequent dreams. Where was “I” for the 13 billion years following the Big Bang? I can’t remember, but assume it will be the same after I depart – going back to where I came from, unknown, unremembered, and unconscious after billions of future eons. I’ll miss though, not knowing what becomes of “you” and humanity’s torturous path – how it will all turn out in the end. I’ll miss that sense of an ending, but it seems more of an uneasiness, not a great unrest. What I fear most is the dying – the “Tuesdays with Morrie” that for Morrie became unbearable each and every day in our modern world of medicine and extended living; the suffering that accompanied him and will accompany most of us along that downward sloping glide path filled with cancer, stroke, and associated surgeries which make life less bearable than it was a day, a month, a decade before.
There's nothing wrong, of course, with Gross fearing death and taking stock of his life in the face of his mortality-- he's human, after all. Having said that, we've gotten used to monthly subject matters that take us on a slightly less morbid journey into the mind of Uncle Bill, expanding our understanding of the human experience in general and that of this unique specimen of a man specifically. Moving forward let's1 all agree that the following topics are the sorts of things we're looking to hear about in the Investment Outlook column; in fact, if Bill's experiencing some sort of creative block, he can go ahead and feel free to write about:
- Whatever happened to that analyst who accidentally made eye contact with him one morning in the parking garage and was never seen again
- The process by which he decided to nickname himself "Secretariat" instead of, say, "The Michael Jordan of Bond Management"
- The dirty looks he was given, but f*cks he did not give, during a 5AM spin class in which he screamed and shouted motivational words to himself like "You go girl!" and "Climb that mountain, climb!"
- The origins of the Pimco Conga Line around the trading floor
- The time he got in trouble with the local sheriff for stealing a cooling pie off of a neighbor's windowsill
- What other interesting conversations he stumbled upon while he was recording and monitoring Mohamed El-Erian's phone calls
- His hatred of power windows
A Sense Of An Ending [Janus]
Related: What Does Bill Gross Think About On The Can? He’s Happy You Asked;Bill Gross Feels Fat;Bill Gross Tells Investors About The Time He Acted Like A Cheap Prick To A Waitress;Bill Gross Had A Cat;Bill Gross Wrote About The Erotic Pleasures Of Sneezing In His Latest Investment Letter But It’s Okay;Bill Gross’s Wife Had Two Vodka Martinis And Asked Him To Dance;Bill Gross Recommends Golden Retrievers;Bill Gross’s Latest Letter To Investors Laments Failed Attempts To ‘Get A Girl Into The Backseat Of A Car’
1. Us, Bill, you.↩