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Hedge Fund Be Damned, Olive Garden Will Never Stop Innovating (Re: Breadsticks)

The restaurant chain has raised a middle finger-shaped breadstick at Starboard Value.
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As those of you who keep up with carbohydrate-related feuds between activist hedge funds and chain restaurants may recall, back in September 2014, Starboard Value released a 294 page presentation detailing the many ways Olive Garden wasted food, money, and customers' time. One of them was the fakakta breadstick policy, wherein diners were pelted with breadsticks upon arrival. Instead of an average of 3 per person, Starboard urged the chain to implement a strict rule of 1 each, unless more were requested, and estimated a cost savings of $4-5 million, in addition to an improved customer experience of not having breadsticks shoved down one's throat.

And while the hedge fund was ultimately successful in its overall quest, replacing the entire board of the OG's parent company, Darden Restaurants, when it came to the 'sticks, the response was swift: go f*ck yourselves. Not only would the place where everyone is family continue to make it rain breadsticks, it would redouble its efforts at the Olive Garden Breadsticks Lab, where teams of people work around the clock to create new and exciting breadstick offerings.

From the AP:

Olive Garden isn't finished dreaming up new ways to use its breadsticks. The Italian restaurant chain said earlier this month it would introduce "breadstick sandwiches" as part of a broader menu revamp intended to play up its most popular offerings. The sandwiches don't arrive until June 1, but Olive Garden already has a follow-up act planned with "breadstick crostini" in August. The "breadstick crostini" — or toasted bread — will be sliced and used as part of an appetizer, said Jose Duenas, Olive Garden's executive vice president of marketing.

Could a pasta dish made entirely out of breadsticks, that you eat with a breadstick shaped like a fork, be far behind? Clearly the answer is no.

Olive Garden: At least 1 more breadstick creation on the way [AP]

Earlier: Hedge Fund To Olive Garden: You Wanna Make Some Real Money? Cut The Breadstick Bull Sh*t


Here’s One Way The Olive Garden Saved Money

It has nothing to do with breadsticks (but it does have to do with slaves).

Going All Gestapo On The Breadsticks, Forcing Darden Board Members To Work The Dinner Rush At Olive Garden PAID OFF

To say nothing of the fact that said suits can now add "knows his bucatini from his cavatelli" to their résumés.

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Despite a momentary scare thanks to a runaway 'd'.