Write-Offs: 5.15.15

Ken Griffin is back; Third Points dumps Alibaba; Bernanke slams Warren; "Man Smashes Wrong Car As Life Imitates 'The Big Lebowski'"; and more.
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Write-Offs: 8.14.15

New Greece deal; The Silicon Valley trailer park; Julian Robertson's not great comeback; Classic cars are (usually) crap investments; "John Daly chucks club into Lake Michigan to cap meltdown"; and more.

Write-Offs: 02.08.13

$$$ Probe Adds to Rating Firms' Woes [NYT] $$$ "Some 71 new hedge funds launched in 2012 and managed $24.9 billion by the end of the year, the highest total since 2007" [AR] $$$ Choose your own adventure, sovereign debt trial of the century edition [FTAV] $$$ Venezuela Devalues Bolivar by 32% Amid Shortage of Dollars [Bloomberg] $$$ CBOE profit beats views, company in talks with SEC on probe [Reuters] $$$ "People like me tell the computer many words so that it knows how to change the tiny lights to look like a cat. We try to make the lights change very fast so that you don’t have to wait for your cats. Some days the lights are all wrong, and we have to tell the computer more words to make them look like cats again." [Mental Floss] $$$ A global consultancy is looking for a risk director to advise commercial/retail banking clients on stress testing, capital, and liquidity risk [DBCC] $$$ Appeals Court Hears Arguments Over Judge Rakoff’s Rejection of Citigroup Settlement [DealBook] $$$ "Our study documents that the information content and the information processing of stock recommendations differ fundamentally between expansions and recessions." [SSRN via Simon Hinrichsen] $$$ S&P Lawyer Keker Brings ‘Slashing and Smashing’ Tactics [Bloomberg] $$$ Overanalyzing George W. Bush’s Painting of Himself Taking a Shower [DI] $$$ You can get an IV hangover cure at a Chicago clinic [BW]

Write-Offs: 10.04.12

$$$ "Congratulations: you’ve now taken a business which was earning 5 per cent to negative 10 per cent. Well done! Now what’s your next trick?" - James Gorman [FT] $$$ Barclays Names McGee Top Americas Corporate and Investment Banker [DealBook] $$$ Viking and ValueAct have outperformed the market YTD, but the median hedge fund return through August is 4.13% [AR] $$$ Game Over: Dave & Buster’s Withdraws IPO [Deal Journal] $$$ "It was the third alligator found roaming free on Long Island in less than a week." [Newsday] $$$ A reader writes, "I know getting drunk and crashing cars into houses on Long Island has been a big fad this year so I figured I'd share." [Newsday, earlier] $$$ A European investment bank is looking for a junior rates trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ Deutsche Bank seen hardest hit by Liikanen reforms [Reuters] $$$ Hard money and the gerontocracy [Noahpinion] $$$ Barry Ritholtz is sick of all the people who are just in finance for the money [TBP] $$$ Gawker recaps a Hulk Hogan sex tape [Gawker] $$$ "But is having your head in a plush diver helmet simply too dorky for the workplace?" Possibly [BusinessWeek]

Write-Offs: 9.4.15

BofA investors told to fire Brian Moynihan (as chairman); Third quarter shrinkage; "West Point Annual Pillow Fight Turns Violent"; and more.

Write-Offs: 05.03.12

$$$ Got half an hour? Watch Facebook's retail roadshow [Facebook] $$$ Wall Street doesn't know how to value private equity firms [Fortune / Dan Primack] $$$ Documents allege HSBC money-laundering lapses [Reuters] $$$ UBS investors protest against pay plan [FT] $$$ Osama bin Laden's views on investing jihad money [FTAV] $$$ Pimco is looking for a digital marketing specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Wall Street Wants More From the JOBS Act [DealBook] $$$ Bank of America to Sell Hearst Tower for $250 Million [Bloomberg] $$$ Krugman Wishes He Were Wrong Amid EU Austerity Backlash [Bloomberg] $$$ The Secret of Ben Bernanke's Beard [Atlantic] $$$ This has no conceivable financial hook, but [The Awl] $$$ Lost Pet Parakeet Found Its Way Home By Telling the Police Its Home Address [Gizmodo]

Write-Offs: 03.14.12

$$$ Third Point’s Loeb Warns Yahoo Chief of Looming Proxy Fight [DealBook] $$$ "LightSquared has retained two of the most prominent conservative litigators in the country — Theodore Olson and Eugene Scalia — in a sign it could be preparing to launch a court battle against the FCC." [Politico] $$$ SEC Details Charges Against Pre-IPO Funds [WSJ] $$$ Surprisingly, placing third at the Jewish Olympics makes you only an average ping-pong player [BI] $$$ "Talk about selfish, such accomplishments didn't help anyone but him! There is no customer that will pay for self-indulgent status climbing in irrelevant hierarchies, regardless of how much we encourage our kids to play such games. That is, ping pong is a fabulous avocation, a pathetic vocation." [Falkenblog] $$$ How would you like to be an equity portfolio associate for PIMCO in Newport Beach? [DBCC] $$$ Bernanke says Fed to make bank rules clearer [Reuters] $$$ Pension funds don't want 100-year gilts [FT] $$$ Fitch Revises U.K.’s Sovereign Rating Outlook to Negative [Bloomberg] $$$ Pulitzer Prize-winning financial reporter Jesse Eisinger explains how he prepared for his role in The Social Network: "I became a billionaire to see what it felt like. I already knew about how to be rejected by girls, so that was easy. My role in Zombieland was much more difficult to prepare for." [Reddit] $$$ Former brothel owner makes Olympic team [MSN]

Write-Offs: 05.24.12

$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]