Etsy Now Doing Group Stuff For Money

Life is hard for a post-IPO startup with a pure soul.
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Etsy, Brooklyn's publicly-traded online flea market, has been having a crazy time of it recently.

The company has been dealing with some high highs and some low-ass lows, all while trying to figure out what life means after you've popped your IPO.

For instance: How do you hold on to your crunchy beliefs while also pleasing the flinty-eyed capitalist to whom you've so willingly sold your soul?

Well, you definitely can't tell your shareholders that you're losing $36 million every three months.

Where's the money, Etsy?

Today, we’re launching Fund on Etsy, a crowdfunding pilot program to help Etsy sellers grow their businesses and create new products. By funding a campaign, buyers can participate in a new product’s journey from initial concept to their front door, while forging even more meaningful relationships with Etsy sellers they care about.

Oh, you're getting some more cash for the people that are already being enriched and ennobled by your platform?

How altruistic of you.

Any heartwarming stories to make us forget about that $36 million hole you're in?

Take Araya Jensen from Wind and Willow Home. A mother of two, she opened her Etsy shop to sell modern housewares after she was laid off as a designer. Now, she’s aiming to raise $4,500 to develop and produce a new line of beautifully hand-marbled wooden plates. “I am excited to have this crowdfunding opportunity to fulfill my customers’ needs and introduce a line of wooden plates!” says Araya on her campaign page.

How much does Araya need?...

Wait a second!

Nice try. Seriously Etsy, you need to come up with some cash. That lady and her kids can pay for their own wooden plates until Goldman Sachs gets paid.

Unless... Are you running some game here? What are you hearing, WSJ?

Etsy, which has 1.4 million active sellers, would take its usual 3.5% of each transaction plus a 20-cent posting fee. It says sellers likely will use the funds raised to buy new equipment and materials or cover staffing costs.

Ahh, very clever Etsy. We knew you had it in you.

Etsy Launches Fund on Etsy Pilot Program to Crowdfund New Products [Etsy]

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