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If Humanity Is To Endure, Pornhub Needs To Call Elon Musk

This is about ethics in space sexploration crowdfunding.

The future of human life depends on our ability to harness the vastness of outer space. But once we're there, mankind will need to procreate. What are the issues that we might face in that endeavor? Is it even possible?

Luckily, one brave company is already looking to the future so that our descendants might survive.

Take it away, Pornhub...

Some are contemplating colonizing Mars while others are promising elevators into space by 2050. One way or another, there are many elements about life in space that need careful consideration and research…especially sex. As such, Pornhub is teaming up with top ranking adult studio Digital Playground in joining the ranks of Armstrong and Gagarin by pioneering a one of a kind mission to defy gravity, make history, and push the boundaries of intergalactic "Sexploration" by filming the first ever sextape in space.

Thank you, purveyors of online smut, our fate rests in your hands. What's the plan?

Our work is definitely cut out for us. We need to train and outfit our crew, consult with a dedicated team of specialists, purchase custom modified film equipment, and completely fund the use of the shuttle that’ll take us on our journey to space. We’ve projected that the overall cost of this pioneering endeavor will run us about $3.4 million.

That's not too bad. Who's going to pay? Goldman? NASA? Your buddy Gundlach?

By supporting us through the purchase of one (or several!) of our amazing perks, you have the opportunity to be a part of the most epic sex adventure ever caught on tape, causing lives to change, mouths to drop, and boundaries to be broken.

"Us?" Wait...Crowdfunding? This is unacceptable.

Pornhub is going to save us all and they need to solicit raise funny money donations from perverts samaritans on the internet?

Wait a second, we know a guy...

Elon Musk’s space company has asked the federal government for permission to begin testing on an ambitious project to beam Internet service from space, a significant step forward for an initiative that could create another major competitor to Comcast, AT&T and other telecom companies.

Bond villain come-to-life Elon Musk not only has his own rockets and drone boats to land them on, he's about to create the kind of space internet that could be used to beam Pornhub's "research" back onto basement laptops around the globe!

So come on, Musky, make this happen. Not only will Pornhub give you the spacesuits and underwear worn by their sextronauts, but just think about how jealous Sergey and Larry will be when you tell them about this at your next secret apartment hang session.

Pornhub Space Program - SEXPLORATION [Indiegogo]

SpaceX founder files with government to provide Internet service from space [WaPo]


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