Important Business Decision By Important Company Reported By Important Newspaper

Oy Tay.

Mustache Tom is too freaked out to worry about "Details," you guys.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end.

Take note, ESPN.

M-I-C... See you back at your desk!... K-E-Y... Why? Because we f*cked up our plan to outsource your job!... M-O-U-S-E

Merry Christmas, dummies - Tim Cook

Uncle Carl just wants to help.

Listen, Elon's not saying Apple's a second rate company... He's saying it's third or fourth rate.

Is Bob Iger looking to take one of Jack's jobs off his hands?

Tom Friedman Trades Mixing Metpahors For Mixing Up Jamie Dimon's Surname