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Lazy Carl Icahn Will Not Answer Call To Serve At The Pleasure of President Trump

It's hard out there for a fake Presidential candidate compiling his fantasy cabinet.

Totally realistic and not-at-all attention hungry "Presidential candidate" Donald Trump is not the kind of man to sit idly by and wait until his inevitable election to start hiring senior cabinet members.

Trump went on CNBC Thursday morning to talk about what the economy would look like in The Donald's America.

The New York City-based contractor then said this:

"I know the smartest people on Wall Street. I know the best negotiators - the overrated guys, the underrated guys -we gotta use those people."

But, you might be asking, who would be his treasury secretary?

"I'd like guys like Jack Welch, I'd like guys like Henry Kravis. I'd love to bring my friend Carl Icahn."

Carl and Donald are bros? Cool. They must have been talking about this for a while then. You know, batting the idea around in their treehouse hangout where neither trolls, losers nor Bill Ackman are allowed.

Wait, Carl has that blog. Let's see what he has to say about gratefully accepting this future role in Trumperica from his close friend, President Trump.

I was extremely surprised to learn that Donald was running for President and even more surprised that he stated he would make me Secretary of Treasury. I am flattered but do not get up early enough in the morning to accept this opportunity.

Way to be a wet blanket, Carl. Why don't you invest in alarm clock and get with the future, dude?

Well, that sucks. But at least we can have fun watching Kravis and Welch fight it out to see who gets to run Treasury and execute on Trumpian economic policies like "Mexico is the new China".


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