Opening Bell: 6.25.15

Greece and Puerto Rico are screwed; Uber water taxi; Testicle-eating fish caught in New Jersey; and more.
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Dueling Greece Plans Confound Race for Bailout Deal (Bloomberg)
“We have run out of comments and also run out of patience,” Malta’s Finance Minister Edward Scicluna told reporters as he arrived for the meeting in Brussels Thursday. The two documents were merged minutes before ministers met, he said. “We don’t know what has been deleted or added. We don’t know where the disagreements are.”

Greece’s Fragile Banks Leave Alexis Tsipras Few Options in Bailout Talks (WSJ)
As nervous Greek savers continue to pull their money from banks, the country’s four major lenders are being sustained by a life-support drip of emergency liquidity reviewed daily by the European Central Bank. If the ECB chooses to end that assistance, Greece would be forced overnight into a perilous regime of capital controls.

Puerto Rico Debt Crisis Mounts With Key Deadline Just Week Away (Bloomberg)
Prices of the junk-rated island’s newest general obligations reached a record low Wednesday after David Chafey, chairman of the territory’s Government Development Bank, said he’s resigning for personal reasons. The departure, which sparked worries about a leadership void, came as a group of hedge funds asked GDB officials and the governor for a meeting to discuss terms of a planned bond sale.

Morgan Stanley flouts Fed guidelines with risky $1B loan (NYP)
The investment bank, led by CEO James Gorman, has underwritten a roughly $1 billion highly leveraged loan — one that rivals passed on — at a ratio of 7.5 times debt-to-earnings. That’s 150 basis points over the Federal Reserve guideline designed to limit the amount of loans that banks extend to indebted companies, said a source at a rival bank. A basis point is one-hundredth of a percentage point. Morgan Stanley is providing debt that will fund Stone Point Capital’s agreement to buy Alliant Insurance from KKR.

'Testicle Eating Fish' With Human-Like Teeth Caught In New Jersey (HP)
A fisherman at a South New Jersey lake caught an exotic fish native to South America with human-like teeth and an overblown reputation for munching on male genitalia. Ron Rossi caught a pacu -- a tropical freshwater fish typically found in the Amazon River -- in Swedes Lake on Sunday, according to WPVI. Pacus gained a reputation as "testicle eating fish" after Jeremy Wade featured them on a 2011 episode of his Animal Planet show "River Monsters." Wade said Amazonian locals told him two men died after they had their testicles bitten off by a fish.

Uber Crosses Continents With Istanbul Water-Taxi Service (Bloomberg)
The service, called UberBOAT, will appear on the smartphone app when a user stands near the coastline of the city’s central waterway. Trips will be made in Beneteau boats owned by a local company, Navette-Tezman Holding, which will compete with tanker traffic and pleasure cruisers to take customers to their desired destination.

The Mansion Bedroom Boom (WSJ)
A new crop of luxury homes on the market come with an unusual promise: The owner can go at least two weeks without sleeping in the same bedroom twice. Real-estate agents say there’s a pickup in activity for extreme second homes with 15 or more bedrooms. These summer getaways appeal to billionaires primarily looking for privacy and security—somewhere to host their friends and extended families without having to use hotels or multiple properties.

Last-minute Father’s Day gift turns dad into a millionaire (AP)
Joseph Morrah, 61, was given the winning $1 Million Payout ticket on Sunday, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reported. His daughter, Christina Morrah, put the ticket in a card she gave to him. But his wife, Debbie Morrah, said it was her idea to buy the $20 ticket. “I said, ‘Buy a lottery ticket for him,’ because I didn’t get him anything, and I felt bad,” she said.

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