Who Wants To Help This Goal-Oriented List-Maker Cross A Few Items Off His Or Her To Do List?

"Go out w/ Wall Street guys" is an obvious one but there are a few others of which you could perhaps be of service.
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Own or renting a house in the Hamptons this summer? Got a membership to the Soho House? On Tinder and/or want to pay for someone's food? Even if you answered no to all of the above, if you count as a "guy" who "[works on] Wall Street," you could do the writer of this list, found on Columbus and 76th. 1 down, 15 to go.

Anybody Lose This Ambitious List Of Summer Goals? [Gothamist via Lauren LaCapra]

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Exotic Dancer Turned Financial Services VP Wants Long Island To Pay $10 Million For Forcing Her To Have An Affair With Responsibility-Shirking Cop

Remember Tara Obernauer? For a quick refresher, Obernauer is vice-president at Forbes Private Capital Group, whose resume also includes an MBA from Hofstra, five years as a compliance officer at Guggenheim Capital Markets, and dancing gig at a now-defunct gentlemen's club called Stringfellows, where she earned "$1,000 a night or more." Last July she started having an affair with Nassau County police officer Mike Tedesco,* which involved Tedesco literally and figuratively "parking his cruiser in Obernauer's driveway" during his shift and "hanging out on the couch, watching TV, and taking naps" while letting younger cops, who Tedesco referred to "assist bitches," respond to calls. The reason we know all this is that Mike's bosses "compared reports by Obernauer's neighbors with GPS records from his squad car, [which] showed at least 57 visits" at times he was supposed to be working, and then cross-referenced them with Obernauer, who had no intention of covering for Tedesco after she learned he was married with kids.** Anyway, in April Obernauer got an order of protection against the guy, fearing retaliation for not telling Internal Affairs that he was "just a friend who stops by once in a while," as per his request,** and now she wants Nassau County to cough up a few million for unleashing this animal on her. The mistress of a married Nassau County cop — who enjoyed more than 100 nights with him while he was on duty — is threatening to sue the county for $10 million because it didn’t prevent the couple’s steamy romance. Sexy Wall Street exec Tara Obenauer, 42, has filed a notice of claim saying that she intends to sue Nassau County and the Police Department because officials were “negligent” for not keeping Officer Mike Tedesco from visiting her house while he was on duty. “As a result of the County and Tedesco’s negligent and intentional acts, Claimant has suffered and sustained severe and substantial emotional damages,” the notice of claim said. Here's what Nassau County Attorney John Ciampoli had to say about that: “I just think it’s rather ironic that she’s filing a notice of claim against the county. Because, based on what has been reported in the press, she was receiving from the county Police Department a lot more than others were receiving.” *Who showed up to her house claiming he'd received a report of loud music, after a colleague who knew Obernauer piqued Tedesco's interest by telling him "she was good-looking." **To which she responded "They have your GPS records, you moron. I'm not perjuring myself for you. We're over and I want my key back."

UBS Needs Help Selecting Items For Its Time Capsule

Separately, the bank also needs to hire a bunch of interns for this summer's "Emerging Talent Program." Enter: two birds, one stone: