$$$ 'Sterilized' Bond Buying an Option in Fed Arsenal [WSJ] $$$ Greece inches closer to €206bn debt deal [FT] $$$ Apple lifts lid on 4G iPad, keeps prices [Reuters] $$$ Mario Batali pays $5.25mm to settle a class action suit brought by abused waiters [Eater] $$$ How would you like to be a research analyst on the global small- and mid-cap team at Franklin Templeton? [DBCC] $$$ Treasury to Sell $6 Billion of AIG Stock [WSJ] $$$ The Case for Treating Big Finance Like Big Pharma [The Atlantic] $$$ Or treat it like squeegee men [William Black] $$$ If you read only one piece of investigative journalism on Lenny Dykstra's downfall, make it this one [SI] $$$ If you read only one piece of investigative journalism on high-end prostitute pricing, make it John Carney's [NetNet]

$$$ Spain rating slashed 3 notches by Moody's [Reuters] $$$ Citigroup was once worse than it is now [Bloomberg] $$$ Gupta Prosecutors Draw ‘Secret Pipeline’ Pattern; Defense Asks, ‘Where’s the Beef?’ [DealBook] $$$ JPMorgan doomsday scenario revealed [FT, FTAV] $$$ Large Institutions Discuss New Marketplace for Bonds [WSJ] $$$ George W. Bush’s decapitated head appeared on Game of Thrones [io9] $$$ Lombard Street Research is looking for a senior institutional sales executive in New York [DBCC] $$$ Crédit Agricole Girds Greek Unit for Greece Euro Exit [WSJ] $$$ Two PMs leave Taconic to form value equity shop [AR] $$$ Should lawyers have stopped the London Whale? [ATL] $$$ Endless QE? $6 trillion and counting [Reuters] $$$ Cops: Man on drugs rammed Stamford police cruisers [Stamford Advocate]

Icahn dumps 7 million Apple shares; Mario Draghi says give it up for European banking system; Man arrested in Florida after taking backhoe for joyride; and more.

Greece; Settlements; Hoaxes; "Florida man dances on police vehicle to ward off vampires"; and more.

Bill Gross's Bloomberg keyboard to go on display at Smithsonian; Jacob Lew tells Greece they might wanna get a deal done; Dick Fuld blames everyone but Dick Fuld; "Man takes bullet to groin to prove strength of sports cup"; and more.

$$$ Tables turn on Spain with pressure to seek bailout [Reuters] $$$ Maybe David Viniar will be Goldman's chairman when Lloyd retires and Gary is CEO? [WSJ] $$$ "The study found that for a sample of modifications to securitized subprime mortgages, a 10 percent reduction in the monthly payment was associated with a 4.5 percentage point reduction in the twelve-month redefault rate." [New York Fed] $$$ "If Apple continues on its current trajectory, something remarkable might happen on April 9, 2015, at around 11 a.m. That is, statisticians and investors I've spoken with say, a conservative estimate of when Apple could become the first company ever to be valued at $1 trillion." [NYT!] $$$ Welcome to the world Quartz! [Qz] $$$ "To call the Berenstains anthropomorphized bears insults both humans and bears." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Credit Suisse is looking for a research analyst for commodity strategies in asset management in New York [DBCC] $$$ U.S. Corporate Bond Tally Could Top $100 Billion in September [WSJ] $$$ Meredith Whitney is still pretty sure banks will fire a lot of people [CNBC] $$$ William Cohan confuses himself horribly about Whaledemort [Bloomberg] $$$ Mario Batali is paying $1.15mm to Del Posto employees to settle a lawsuit over wages, tips, overtime and discrimination [Diner's Journal] $$$ Hillary Clinton Aide Tells Reporter To “Fuck Off” And “Have A Good Life” [BF] $$$ Mitt Romney Doesn’t Get Why Airplane Windows Don’t Open [DI]

$$$ Brussels signals easing of fiscal rules [FT] $$$ Treasury Announces Public Offering of AIG Common Stock [Treasury] $$$ AIG is buying structured credit products for yield, what could possibly go wrong? [Bloomberg] $$$ Berkshire Profit Doubles on Insurance Results, Derivatives [Bloomberg] $$$ Bloomberg News correspondent enjoys popcorn with truffle oil, baths, Polish zloties [The Billfold] $$$ How would you like to be a strategy andmanagement associate at a $10bn+ hedge fund? [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Takes Steps to Protect Bond Turf [WSJ] $$$ BofA never loses money [FTAV] $$$ Is lying a little on your resume bad? Experts debate. [DealBook] $$$ Is Wall Street Hustling Facebook? [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Yngve Slyngstad is mad about Greece [FT] $$$ Pythons Swallow Whole Deer in Florida, $6 Million Tab [Bloomberg] $$$ MCA, RIP [RS]

Gold; Greece; Bezos; "Oregon man uses drone to rescue stranded drone"; and more.