$$$The New Rules of Offshore Accounts [WSJ]
One of Buffett's top managers made a lot of money today; After being taken into custody for allegedly shooting his hedge fund manager dad, Thomas Gilbert Jr. "scarfed down two slices of pizza, an Egg McMuffin, an apple and a sandwich"; Germany still has no love for Greece; Coke use makes it hard to learn from your mistakes; AND MORE.
$$$ Bonus cuts hide bigger problem for investment banks [FT] $$$ Newsletter Flagged Possible 'Japanese Madoff' in 2009 [WSJ] $$$ Gray in position to succeed Schwarzman [FT] $$$ Apple would like to break the law of large numbers, for very loose definitions of "the law of large numbers" (or very strong forms of EMH?) [NYT] $$$ BREAKING: Jim Chanos eats bread [BI] $$$ Lenny Dykstra can go to Gary Carter's funeral [NYP]
$$$ Something something something "[Bernanke] must once again address whether there is more the Fed can do to get the economy going and whether it is worth taking chances on controversial new programs" [WSJ] $$$ Brussels pushes for wide ECB powers [FT] $$$ Google, Apple CEOs in secret patent talks [Reuters] $$$ Goldman is struggling to sell an ABS deal backed by Bob Dylan royalties, inspiring many FT jokes [FT] $$$ Chipotle caught STEALING pennies from hapless customers nationwide in deceptive receipt rounding scandal [Daily Mail] $$$ Kelly & Dylan finally get together [NYP] $$$ A bulge bracket bank in New York is looking for a senior internal audit manager [DBCC] $$$ Guy voting Republican [CNBC] $$$ Sharp Elbows Among Street Lawmen [WSJ] $$$ Citi is looking for a little more space [WSJ] $$$ "A 97-year-old message in a bottle found by Scottish fishermen in their catch has set the world record for spending the longest time at sea." [Bloomberg] $$$ Over 100 students in Harvard's "Intro to Congress" class are being investigated for cheating [Crimson]
$$$ Happy Birthday, Jamie Dimon [DealBook] $$$ There's a pope [DI] $$$ EU May Put Short-Term Bank Creditors in Firing Line for Losses [Bloomberg] $$$ End Looming for Paper Certificates [WSJ] $$$ Is Insider Selling A Concern? (No) [TBP] $$$ I Emailed the CEO of Bank of America to Fix My Credit Score (And He Did) [The Billfold] $$$ A high frequency trading fund is looking for a senior compliance officer in New York [DBCC] $$$ Former Pimco Executive Files, Then Withdraws, Suit Alleging Misconduct [DealBook] $$$ Lehman creditors can question 'London Whale' - judge [Reuters] $$$ New Dell suitors don't make much sense [Fortune] $$$ Goldman Sachs ventures west for annual meeting in Salt Lake City [Reuters] $$$ New York City to Ban Awls [The Awl]
$$$ Goldman not negligent in arranging Dragon sale - jury [Reuters, earlier] $$$ Kashkari to Leave Pimco, Enter Politics [WSJ] $$$ Apple Earnings Top Forecast but Revenue Falls Short [CNBC] $$$ What Is Business Borrowing For? [Slack Wire] $$$ We Must Build An Enormous McWorld In Times Square, A Xanadu Representing A McDonald's From Every Nation [The Awl] $$$ A global financial firm is looking to add an experienced prepayment modeler to their quantitative team in New York [DBCC] $$$ KKR Agrees to Buy 25% Stake in Hedge Fund Nephila Capital [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman seeks to block shareholder vote on independent chairman [Reuters] $$$ Pemex Snaps Mexico’s Bond Sale Drought With $2 Billion Offering [Bloomberg] $$$ ‘Inigo Montoya’ shirt upsets travelers, leads to awkward flight [Yahoo News]