Valeant has best 3-day run in nearly 20 years; Treasury says banks should be probed on Panama Papers; Meet the masseuse who bites Kanye and Steven Tyler; and more.

$$$ Del Missier Says Diamond Told Him To Lower Libor Submissions [Bloomberg] $$$ Banks behave badly redux: Is it killing confidence? [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Sachs And The $580 Million Black Hole [NYT] $$$ Treasury probe cites officials for soliciting prostitutes, accepting industry gifts, FOIA docs reveal [TheHill] $$$ "What appeared to be sewing needles were found in sandwiches served in business-class cabins on four Delta Air Lines flights to the U.S. from Amsterdam on Sunday, the airline confirmed." $$$ Surveys Give Big Investors an Early View From Analysts [NYT] $$$ JPMorgan Blaming Marks on Traders Baffles Ex-Employees [Bloomberg] $$$ JPMorgan Has Bigger Worry Than ‘London Whale,' says Bové [CNBC] $$$ An Indecent Proposal From Sarah Silverman For Billionaire Sheldon Adelson, Involving Her Scissoring Him [SideSplitter]

Greece; Puerto Rico; Currency market rigging; Yelp sale; "Leopard mauls guide’s arm during safari tour"; and more.

$$$ Barclays to shrink controversial tax unit [FT] $$$ Glencore Details Final Offer for Xstrata [WSJ] $$$ Nasdaq unwavering on paybacks for faulty Facebook launch [Reuters] $$$ Tim Geithner ran a pretty good triathlon this weekend [DealBook] $$$ Goldman Goes Unpaid in El Paso Case [Deal Journal] $$$ William Morris Endeavor Entertainment is suing Amanda Drury for its commissions [Hollywood Reporter] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a marketing associate for private clients in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ California wants the DOJ to stop hedge funds from threatening cities who want to use eminent domain to rewrite mortgages [Reuters] $$$ Everything you could possibly want to know about IOER [FTAV] $$$ Deutsche Bank Chiefs to Unveil Plan [WSJ] $$$ Harvard Football Said to Risk Losing Players in Cheating Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ "A jury on Monday awarded casino mogul Steve Wynn $20 million in his slander case against 'Girls Gone Wild' founder Joe Francis, who claimed the creator of some of Las Vegas' most upscale resorts threatened to kill him over a gambling debt." [NYP]

$$$ Behind Credit Default Swaps Market, a Cartel Left Open to Collusion [Dealbook] $$$ Jim Chanos: Hewlett Packard Is 'Ultimate Value Trap' [CNBC] $$$ Ackman Takes Activist Stance on P&G [CNBC] $$$ Goldman CEO Blankfein Said To Meet With Obama Adviser Lew [Bloomberg] $$$ Racketeering Charges Filed in Hedge Fund Divorce [NYO] $$$ Banker Tattoos [BuzzFeed] $$$ ...every so often, Ackman and his wife whirl through their Rolodexes and invite their unattached friends to come on over to their place and spend a few hours meeting other singles. In this day and age of internet dating, the Ackmans like to give that stressful process a personal touch. And last night was one of those nights when the man who runs $10 billion Pershing Square Capital Management and his wife Karen, who trained as a landscape architect, threw open the doors and hoped for the best. While no officials statistics have been kept, people who have attended the events say plenty of people have found their mates here. At this week’s event? Roughly 200 people attended, according to someone who was there. [Reuters, earlier] $$$ "Dozens of traffic signs have been destroyed by prostitutes performing pole-dances in the street to attract clients, officials in New Zealand's biggest city have revealed." [Telegraph] $$$ Charlie Gasparino: U.S. Insider Trading Investigation Winding Down (Maybe) [FBN] $$$ Ex-JPMorgan Banker Admits Role in Muni Bid-Rigging Scheme [Reuters] $$$ Paulson, Rubin Warn on Dangers of 'Fiscal Cliff' [CNBC] $$$ WWII Shipwreck Yields $38 Million of Silver From Atlantic [Bloomberg] $$$ High school kid accused of running in a potential $3 million marijuana ring. [CP]

$$$ Foreclosure Settlement Amounts to Peanuts for Most Borrowers [AB] $$$ FBI probes trading as KPMG quits as Herbalife, Skechers auditor [Reuters] $$$ Big Dell Shareholder Prefers Two Rival Bids [DealBook] $$$ Ackman may be eyeing exit as JC Penney bet in tatters [Reuters] $$$ The leverage story banks want to hide [FT] $$$ DirecTV Adds DogTV Channel to Appeal to Canine Audience [Bloomberg] $$$ Regulators Are Concerned About Municipal-Bond Deals [WSJ] $$$ Activist Investors Find Allies in Mutual, Pension Funds [CNBC] $$$ Pimco's Gross Turns Positive on 10-Year Treasurys [WSJ] $$$ Swap traders’ morning fix under scrutiny [FT] $$$ Former Vice Mayor of Tennessee Town Accused of Terrorizing Dozens of Women with ‘Drive-By Masturbation’ [Gawker]

Possible criminal probes for RBS, JPM executives; Regulators probe start-up valuations; Virginia man accused of 'assault' with a sandwich; and more.

$$$ Fed makes new rate pledge as it launches fresh stimulus [Reuters] $$$ 'Cliff' Talks at Standstill: 'It's Getting Worse, Not Better' [CNBC] $$$ Deutsche Chiefs Under Investigation in Tax Probe [WSJ] $$$ Biggest Opportunity Will Be Shorting the Bond Market: Dalio [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Thoughts on third-century A.D. monetary policy [FTAV / Izabella Kaminska] $$$ John McAfee is coming home, "also explained that he'd been secretly using a 'tiny laptop' and a fake name to keep up with his website while in custody." [DI] $$$ PEAK6 Investments is looking for an accounting associate to join its Finance team in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ Greece's lenders call bond buyback a success, endorse aid [Reuters] $$$ Calpers Bankruptcy Strategy Pits Retirees vs. All Others [Bloomberg] $$$ The Evolution of Super Senior CDS [TF Markets] $$$ "So how do you celebrate the end of a late-night bankruptcy auction that brought in nearly $257 million for your client, the government-backed battery maker A123 Systems Inc.?" McDonald's [Bankruptcy Beat] $$$ Chris Christie: I’m not too fat for the White House [Politico]