If Scott Walker Gets To Be President, We All Have To Start Shopping At Kohls

He's got so many coupons, you guys. And they're going to save America.
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Wisconsin Governor and science sceptic Scott Walker is the 1,629 entrant into the 2016 Republican primary.

We'll check our numbers, but that one feels right.

The thing that everyone remembers Scott Walker for is his virulent fight with Wisconsin's powerful public sector unions that brought them to their knees in 2012. While it resulted in Walker fighting off a recall attempt, it also made him a darling to the Koch Broths and a folk hero of the right.

How bad was the fallout from Walker's fight with unions?

This is the entirety of the official statement released by AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka in response to Walker's announcement.

"Scott Walker is a national disgrace."

His crazy stare down with Big Labor in a predominately leftist state is also the thing that best differentiates him from other hardcore vanilla conservatives. Walker is essentially Mitt Romney without Mormonism, but with a populist appeal and a mean streak.

And now the pugnaciously Conservative, hardcore evangelical Governor of a very blue state is going to try and climb over a teeming mob of fellow Republicans, and into a general election face-off with Hillary Clinton the Democratic nominee.

This tweet is a beautiful little look at how Scott Walker plays the game.

How maddeningly "folksy" is Scott Walker's take on everything? Here's what he said in his announcement speech about one of his favorite topics;tax reform.

We need to lower the burden on hard-working taxpayers to improve take-home pay. And we need tax levels that are competitive for job creators to bring jobs back from overseas to put more of our fellow Americans back to work.
We can do it. We did it in Wisconsin and we can do it in Washington, too.

Pretty good populist stump speech stuff. Welcome to the race, Scott, you can sit over there with Jindal... Oh, there's more?

So, why do I focus so much attention on tax relief? Well, some of you know that Tonette and I like to shop at Kohl’s. Over the years, I’ve learned that if I’m going to buy a new shirt, I go to the rack that says that the shirt was $29.99 but now is $19.99. Then, I take the coupon from the Sunday paper up to the cashier or I take out the flyer that we get in the mail that gives us 15 or 20% off – or even 30% if we are really lucky.

30%? This is almost too exciting.

Then, Tonette reaches into her purse and pulls out some Kohl’s cash. Next thing you know, they’re paying us to buy that shirt.
Well, not really. So how does a company like Kohl’s make money?

Union busting at the factory?

Volume. They make it off of volume.

Ah, that makes more sense.

Bored yet? Us too.

But Walker's vacuously trenchant economic allegories do have some fans on Wall Street.

Because Chris Christie running is running with the momentum that one would expect from a Chris Christie-shaped man, and Jeb! has failed to earn the exclamation point that he gave himself, many financial sector donors are looking to keep their powder dry for another option.

For instance, it appears hedge funder Anthony Scaramucci is reportedly a big Scott Walker fan. 

Several fundraisers who backed GOP nominee Mitt Romney in 2012 are now helping Mr. Walker, who is best known for challenging Wisconsin public-sector unions and winning three statewide elections in a presidential swing state.
They include hedge-fund manager Anthony Scaramucci, who says he has given $100,000 to Mr. Walker’s political-action committee and has set up meetings for him with around two-dozen donors in New York next week. He said his goal is to introduce Mr. Walker to more than 1,000 potential backers in the U.S. in the next six months.

We're just going to assume that Scaramucci's first piece of advice for Walker will be "Please stop telling everyone that you buy your clothes at f#cking Kohls."

GOP Contender Walker Draws Wall Street Cash [WSJ]

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