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It's Not Fracking If You're Just "Re-Fracking"

Hey, we all like oil and it's not like God is making any more of this stuff.



If Jamie Dimon Isn't Running For President, He Just Wasted 20 Minutes Of Everybody's Time

If he keeps teasing us like this, we might have to update the meaning of #DraftDimon.


Snap CEO Hopes You're Looking Forward To Five Years Of Waiting To Learn If That Snap Stock You Just Bought Is Worth Anything

This is probably why your share purchase agreement came with that complimentary yellow ball gag.

Uber Gives Carnegie Mellon $5.5M, Asks Why It's Not Smiling

We know we poached those scientists baby, but here's a check.


Maybe Gary Cohn Is Just Not Bright

You're tearing us apart, Gary!