Masses Invited To Join The Twinkie Renaissance

THE TWINKIE IPO IS UPON US.
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Invaluable.

Seeing as how they resurrected the Twinkie—and the rest of Hostess—in just two years, without having to seek help from Zach Galifianakis even, Apollo Global Management and Metropolous & Co. are pretty sure they deserve a little more than a paltry $2 billion profit on a $410 million investment. And they expect you, the Twinkie-loving investing public, to give it to them.

Hostess Brands LLC, the U.S. bakery company whose snack cake brands include Twinkies and Ding Dongs, has pulled itself from the auction block and will instead pursue an initial public offering (IPO), according to people familiar with the matter….

Hostess, which launched a process to sell itself earlier this year, snubbed offers in recent weeks from other companies and private equity firms that valued it at between $2.4 billion and $2.5 billion, including debt, the people said.

Twinkies maker Hostess Brands shelves sale for IPO [Reuters]

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The good people who used to run Hostess Brands aren't the only people who came up with the idea of raiding pensions to pay bills:

New Hostess Owners' Infallible Business Plan: Zach Galifianakis And Healthy Twinkies

Now that the Apollo and Metropolous & Co. have officially bought the Twinkie—in an auction that drew precisely one bid, theirs—the private equity firms have figured out how to turn around a company that other private equity firms couldn't/ran into the ground. First, they're not going to rehire everyone. Second, they're going to outsource distribution. Lastly, and most importantly, they're going to hire Zach Galifianakis or Will Ferrell.