$$$ Goldman In Push On Volcker Limits [WSJ] $$$ Julius Baer May Cut More Than 1,000 Jobs After Merrill Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ Blackstone closes historic real estate fund on $13.3bn [PEI] $$$ Copenhagen IBOR has its own scandal [Macro Exposure, related] $$$ And State Street's Danish krone interest rate is negative 0.75% [Bloomberg] $$$ [Larry] Greenfield, who retired after a successful career at Opus Trading in Jericho, Long Island, says he would gladly trade his riches in exchange for finding a woman who meets his exacting standards: beautiful, thin, smart, Jewish, a sense of humor and from New York — but not an “alpha.” ... “I’m not a bad guy. I haven’t been to prison,” he said. “It’s just a very frustrating thing.” [NYP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a banking and cash management lawyer in Purchase, NY [DBCC] $$$ Imagine a country where challenging the ruling authorities — questioning, say, a piece of data released by central headquarters — would result in mobs of administration sympathizers claiming you should feel "embarrassed" and labeling you a fool, or worse. Soviet Russia perhaps? Communist China? Nope, that would be the United States right now, when a person (like me, for instance) suggests that a certain government datum (like the September unemployment rate of 7.8%) doesn't make sense. - Jack Welch [WSJ] $$$ Jack Welch ‘100%’ Right, Jobs Data Are Wrong: Trump [CNBC] $$$ The Private Equity Wizardry Behind Realogy’s Comeback [DealBook] $$$ "Savoring a long lunch after a morning tending to baby quince and pear trees, the French Senate's 78 gardeners are blissfully untouched by the economic crisis gnawing at Europe's core." $$$ Definitive Proof Rose And Jack Could Have Survived TOGETHER [BuzzFeed]

$$$ Citigroup could be surprise winner in stress tests [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Buoyed by Credit Rally Seen Leading Bank Trading Gains [Bloomberg] $$$ Will Portugal Follow Greece Into Debt Relief? [NetNet] $$$ Highland Capital is looking for a distressed investments senior analyst-- you? [DBCC] $$$ Wily, Elusive Foragers Invade Upstate New York [NYT] $$$ Bradley H. Jack a former investment banking chief at Lehman and an owner the most expensive residential property in Fairfield, has been charged for the second time in less than a year with forging a prescription for a controlled substance. [CTP] $$$ Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit Says Anger With Wall Street Is ‘Understandable’ [NYO] $$$ Peter Thiel, university-hater, heads to campus [Reuters] $$$ Groupon of a lifetime: "$12,500 for a signed Titanic DVD and 13-day ocean voyage with tour of the Titanic (a $59,680 value); departs from St. John’s, Newfoundland, on July 26 and returns August 8" [G]

Goldman loves Jeb; Greece needs more $$$; Icahn blames BlackRock; "Woman Tells Police Obama Legalized Counterfeiting"; and more.

Tinder ('s parent company) files for IPO; Kweku Adoboli finished in finance; Wall Street hearts Jeb; "Supporter shaves Hillary’s face into her own hair"; and more.

Greece still thinks it has a chance; Apple is the new Pimco; Uber banned in the Hamptons; "Finally, a knife that toasts bread as it slices"; and more.

Dick Fuld is back; Greece still has no money; Hostess is worth $2 billion; "A quarter of Harvard grads have never gotten laid"; and more.

Icahn, Apple, Greece, The Woman Rocking The Hedge Fund World, "Burglar Gets Stuck In Air Vent Trying To Escape"; AND MORE.

Uber to raise $1 billion; Draghi and Yellen have work to do; "Teen Could Face Charges For Tossing Veggie"; and more.