Greece; Chinese Stocks; Living wills; "Giant butt touring U.S. to bring randomness to bleak world"; and more.

Steve Cohen's comeback; A Bill Gross bet pays off; Valeant; "Taxidermist Immortalizes Michigan State Win ... With Chipmunks"; and more.

$$$ As His Fraud Trial Opens, Ex-UBS Trader Is Accused of Brazen Gambling [DealBook] $$$ Thanks, Goldman, for Giving My Peers Their Lives Back [Bloomberg] $$$ FDIC’s Hoenig Wants Simpler Rules Than Basel III [Deal Journal] $$$ Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary demonstrations start tomorrow [The Awl] $$$ Hard-money types talk too much about the gold standard, not enough about the bacon standard [CNBC] $$$ "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny's she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." - Mitt Romney [DI] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for an insurance wholesaling director in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Miller Says U.S. Should Issue Simplified Volcker Rule [Bloomberg] $$$ Private equity needs more strategic deals [Term Sheet] $$$ Home Depot is leaving China, "where cheap labor has stunted the do-it-yourself ethos and apartment-based living leaves scarce demand for products like lumber" [WSJ] $$$ Allocating Risk Through Contract: Evidence from M&A and Policy Implications [Harvard Law] $$$ Naked German monk found wandering Bavarian forest after tripping on some bad berries [NYDN]

$$$ Boehner, Obama Exchange New Cliff Proposals [WSJ] $$$ Greece's lenders left to plug 450 mln euro hole after buyback [Reuters] $$$ Dragon Systems Founders Take Goldman to Trial Over Advice [Bloomberg] $$$ For employees of Bloomberg LP, a megabonus deferred [CapitalNY] $$$ Cayman Island Police Arrest Premier Over Credit Card Use [Bloomberg] $$$ An institutional equity research, sales and trading firm is looking to hire a senior biotech equity research analyst in Greenwich [DBCC] $$$ "Traders wanting to place bets on the U.S. Consumer Demand Index — a monthly reading of household spending sentiment — can now pay to get the data before anyone else." [MarketBeat] $$$ Not All Companies Would Welcome a Lower Tax Rate [DealBook] $$$ Argentina debt case weakens incentives to settle [Reuters] $$$ There's a dinosaur named after President Obama v [Fox]

Goldman Sachs banker accused of rape going to trial in April; Time running out for Greece; "Man Posed As Cop To Cut Into Fast-Food Line"; and more.

Gold; Greece; Bezos; "Oregon man uses drone to rescue stranded drone"; and more.

Google now Alphabet; Madoff employee fined $170 billion; Greece; Activists; Ax-Wielding Clown; and more.

$$$ Fed Sees Action if Growth Doesn't Pick Up Soon [WSJ] $$$ Greece will need more debt restructuring - EU officials [Reuters] $$$ Outlook Cut Could Stiffen Berlin's Opposition to Aid [Der Spiegel] $$$ Apple Falls Short Of Analysts’ Expectations Amid IPhone Slump [Bloomberg] $$$ Loeb Buys More Yahoo Shares for $39.5 Million [CNBC] $$$ Plane towing "Will You Marry Me?" banner crashes off RI [CBS] $$$ Nomura is looking for an operations associate in New York, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Bond Trading Loses Some Swagger Amid Upheaval [NYT] $$$ Bridgewater Sees ‘Dangerous Dynamic’ As Largest Economies Slow [Bloomberg] $$$ Google agrees EU antitrust deal outline [FT] $$$ 'Hockey mom madam's' partner files papers to have case dismissed [NYP] $$$ Sometimes one subway train leaves before the other subway train; other times, the other subway train leaves first [City Room]