Write-Offs: 7.20.15

Morgan Stanley beats estimates; JP Morgan needs $12.5 billion; "Velociraptor among Japanese hotel's robot staff"; and more.

Author:

Dealbreaker

$$$JPMorgan $12.5 Billion Short in Fed Systemic-Risk Charges [Bloomberg]

$$$Morgan Stanley’s Profit Tops Estimates [Dealbook]

$$$How Emotions Get in Way of Smart Investing [WSJ]

$$$Millennial blows her $90,000 college fund then blames her parents [Fox]

$$$Stolen ATM Machine Falls Out Of Getaway Van [AP]

$$$A Former Private Equity Dealmaker Takes His Restaurant Group International [Bloomberg]

$$$Options traders grow more bullish on big tech names [Reuters]

$$$Velociraptor among Japanese hotel's robot staff [UPI]

Opening Bell

$2.6 billion Morgan Stanley settlement; Citigroup maybe money laundering; Meredith Whitney; Floating strip club; AND MORE.

Write-Offs

SABMiller needs more time; SEC gets tough with JP Morgan; "Canadian restaurant stuffs burger with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups"; and more.

News

BNY Mellon glitch; JP Morgan hacking; Barclays experimenting with Bitcoin; "Zoo Owner Calls Pony-Riding Baboon A 'C**ksucker' On Live TV"; and more.

Write-Offs

JP Morgan hacking; Bezos tops Slim; Avenue Capital shuttering fund; "You're a Dirty Gentrifying Tech Bro, and You Need to Be Spanked"; and more.

News

$$$ JPMorgan is the best place to work, according to the Vault Guide [DealBook] $$$ "Morgan Stanley's wealth management chief, Greg Fleming, has just concluded a seven-city tour of the firm’s brokerage offices in an attempt to stem a broker revolt over the company’s new technology system that contains so many glitches that brokers often cannot sign-up new clients." [FBN, earlier] $$$ Ex-Jet Chrebet Among Top Wealth Managers Leaving Morgan Stanley for Barclays [Deal Journal] $$$ A fourth trader under scrutiny in JPM "Whale" probe [Reuters] $$$ "What the ECB is doing, in essence, is setting itself up as the shadow government of Italy, Spain, Portugal, and perhaps Ireland." [Slate / Matt Yglesias] $$$ Court to decide if lap dancing is a tax-exempt art form [USAT] $$$ Morgan Stanley Smith Barney is looking for a suspicious activity monitoring and investigations analyst [DBCC] $$$ Greenhill Expands Capital Advisory Group [DealBook] $$$ Investors are buying California school district bonds [WSJ] $$$ The ‘mystery Libor’ precedent [FTAV] $$$ Why Yes, It Is Time for Homemade Satellites [BBW] $$$ What Famous People Smell Like [The Awl]

News

Analyst freezes to death; Wells Fargo harassment; Soros Herbalife stake; Robots; Asset manager pay; "Flight Delayed Due To Rampaging Scorpion"; AND MORE.

News

$$$ How Morgan Stanley sank to junk status [Reuters] $$$ Rosengren Says Renewing Operation Twist Would Spur Growth; in other news the 10-year hit 1.437% today [Bloomberg] $$$ Defiant Spain to test the bond market [FT] $$$ Egan-Jones cuts Italy to B+, says economy "miserable" [Reuters] $$$ Rajat Gupta’s Wealth in Spotlight at Trial [DealBook] $$$ Man Sentenced For Abandoning Teen Daughter Due to Her Poor Calculus Grade $$$ A highly regarded advisory firm is looking for a life sciences investment banking associate [DBCC] $$$ Bankruptcy Court Approves Dynegy Settlement With Creditors [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Oil Well Is Biggest Gusher In Company History [Bloomberg] $$$ A central-bank failure of epic proportions [Economist / Free Exchange] $$$ The National Review runs an article endorsing NGDP targeting [NR] $$$ Hockey Mom Madam wants bail reduced so she can care for her son

Write-Offs

Titleist golf unit considering IPO; Morgan Stanley done with energy stocks; Glencore shares plunge; Qatar Fund Loses $5.9 billion; "Marijuana falls from the sky, puts hole in Arizona family's carport"; and more.

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