ECB's got your stimulus right here; The corporate retreat is back; Looks to the jobs report; "Texas State student rides her Barbie Jeep around campus after DWI arrest"; and more.

Write-Offs

$$$ RBS reaches Libor settlement [FT] $$$ Bernanke Voiced Alarm Over Credibility of Ratings Firms [Bloomberg] $$$ The Receivables Exchange [Sober Look] $$$ Rollover Risk as Market Discipline: A Two-Sided Inefficiency [FRBNY] $$$ Goldman has a new "what kind of banker would you be?" quiz [Bloomberg View] $$$ "Staff at a Japanese zoo have been practising procedures designed to recapture escaped animals in the event of an earthquake. An employee of Tama Zoo outside Tokyo donned a zebra costume during the drill as emergency workers set up a barricade. Carrie Gracie describes how the scenario culminated in the 'zebra' being tranquilised." There is video. [BBC] $$$ Highland is looking for a desk analyst for credit trading in Dallas [DBCC] $$$ Nasdaq Talks Settlement in Facebook IPO [WSJ] $$$ LBOs, junk yields, and earnings yields [Free Exchange] $$$ Two students lose fingers in tug-of-war at California high school [Reuters] $$$ Death Star Lollipops [Copyranter]

Write-Offs

Google now Alphabet; Madoff employee fined $170 billion; Greece; Activists; Ax-Wielding Clown; and more.

News

$$$ Athens faces tough bail-out terms [FT] $$$ ECB to Exchange Greek Bonds [WSJ] $$$ I give up, what would you do about Greece? [Crooked Timber] $$$ Yelp Sets Terms for March IPO [WSJ, possibly related] $$$ Goldman hires Harvard students because Harvard is bad at educating them [Bloomberg / Ezra Klein, possibly related] $$$ Australia's richest person wrote the universe's worst poem ("Develop North Australia, embrace multiculturalism and welcome short term foreign workers to our shores / To benefit from the export of our minerals and ores" etc.) [Telegraph via The Jane Dough] $$$ You could be a Credit Risk Senior Analyst at Genworth in Stamford [eFinancialCareers] $$$ Icahn Offers to Buy CVR Energy in at Least $2.6 Billion Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ The SEC raised the qualifications for being charged 2 and 20 [SEC] $$$ Merrill brokers are fine selling bad advice but draw the line at selling BofA banking services [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Welcome to six months ago Art Cashin. Some tips: buy NFLX; don't take any Tuscan cruises. [MarketBeat] $$$ Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore wants to end the default practice of quarterly earnings guidance and explore issuing loyalty-driven securities as part of an overhaul of capitalism which he says has turned many of the world's largest economies into hotbeds of irresponsible short-term investment. [Reuters] $$$ Toddler Rescued From Inside Claw Game [ABC]

News

Activist investors have a new favorite target; U.S. regulators, FBI warn banks on cyber threat after Bangladesh heist; Woman busted for DWI blasts cops for ‘picking on rich people’; and more.

News

Greece, Greece, Greece; Duff beer; Rate hike; "Judge frees jailed kids who refused to have lunch with dad"; and more.

Write-Offs

$$$ Goldman In Push On Volcker Limits [WSJ] $$$ Julius Baer May Cut More Than 1,000 Jobs After Merrill Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ Blackstone closes historic real estate fund on $13.3bn [PEI] $$$ Copenhagen IBOR has its own scandal [Macro Exposure, related] $$$ And State Street's Danish krone interest rate is negative 0.75% [Bloomberg] $$$ [Larry] Greenfield, who retired after a successful career at Opus Trading in Jericho, Long Island, says he would gladly trade his riches in exchange for finding a woman who meets his exacting standards: beautiful, thin, smart, Jewish, a sense of humor and from New York — but not an “alpha.” ... “I’m not a bad guy. I haven’t been to prison,” he said. “It’s just a very frustrating thing.” [NYP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a banking and cash management lawyer in Purchase, NY [DBCC] $$$ Imagine a country where challenging the ruling authorities — questioning, say, a piece of data released by central headquarters — would result in mobs of administration sympathizers claiming you should feel "embarrassed" and labeling you a fool, or worse. Soviet Russia perhaps? Communist China? Nope, that would be the United States right now, when a person (like me, for instance) suggests that a certain government datum (like the September unemployment rate of 7.8%) doesn't make sense. - Jack Welch [WSJ] $$$ Jack Welch ‘100%’ Right, Jobs Data Are Wrong: Trump [CNBC] $$$ The Private Equity Wizardry Behind Realogy’s Comeback [DealBook] $$$ "Savoring a long lunch after a morning tending to baby quince and pear trees, the French Senate's 78 gardeners are blissfully untouched by the economic crisis gnawing at Europe's core." $$$ Definitive Proof Rose And Jack Could Have Survived TOGETHER [BuzzFeed]

News

$$$ How Morgan Stanley sank to junk status [Reuters] $$$ Rosengren Says Renewing Operation Twist Would Spur Growth; in other news the 10-year hit 1.437% today [Bloomberg] $$$ Defiant Spain to test the bond market [FT] $$$ Egan-Jones cuts Italy to B+, says economy "miserable" [Reuters] $$$ Rajat Gupta’s Wealth in Spotlight at Trial [DealBook] $$$ Man Sentenced For Abandoning Teen Daughter Due to Her Poor Calculus Grade $$$ A highly regarded advisory firm is looking for a life sciences investment banking associate [DBCC] $$$ Bankruptcy Court Approves Dynegy Settlement With Creditors [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Oil Well Is Biggest Gusher In Company History [Bloomberg] $$$ A central-bank failure of epic proportions [Economist / Free Exchange] $$$ The National Review runs an article endorsing NGDP targeting [NR] $$$ Hockey Mom Madam wants bail reduced so she can care for her son

Write-Offs: 7.27.15

Write-Offs: 9.3.15

Write-Offs: 02.05.13

Write-Offs: 8.10.15

Write-Offs: 02.16.12

Write-Offs: 6.7.16

Write-Offs: 7.10.15

Write-Offs: 10.09.12

Write-Offs: 06.01.12