Several weeks back, hackers infiltrated adultery-facilitation website Ashley Madison and yesterday, as you may have heard, the group dumped a gigantic amount of information about the site's users online. Names, email addresses, home addresses, fetishes, credit card numbers and transactions, the works. Regardless of a moral stance on cheating, a lot of people are very disturbed by the privacy infringement and the idea that, whether you're using it to buy socks or set up an affair, engaging with the internet today means putting yourself at risk to be virtually violated in the ass.
Discussing the news this morning, a round table of Fox Business's brightest minds sought to bring its viewers an answer to what seasoned investigative reporter Charlie Gasparino, after careful analysis, had identified as the issue's most pressing question: How many flowers does one owe one's spouse based on the fetish revealed?
Robert Siciliano, Cyber Security Analyst: I've had phone calls, emails, texts...people coming up to me and saying I think I was part of that hack...people obviously concerned their data was going to be leaked, the probability of it occurring the repercussions and so forth. There's a lot of people out there today that are running scared and, more than likely, buying flowers.
Charles Gasparino: Gimme how many flowers based on the fetishes.
FBN Blonde Oh my god, stop, seriously!
Charles Gasparino: I'm trying to give you news you can use. Robert, gimme the fetish to the flower ratio.