Market Panic Has Reached "I'm Gonna Email Jim Cramer" Levels

Human sacrifice! Tim Cook emailing Jim Cramer! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

As people watched the Dow drop by more than 1,000 points this morning, a freezing claw of panic intensified its grip around Wall Street.

One company that watched its stock get treated like a crash-test dummy during the morning plummet was Apple. After seeing his stock fall off the table after the opening bell, Apple CEO Tim Cook apparently found himself in a state of sheer terror. The famously reclusive Cook sat down at his PC, typed out a plea for mercy and sent it to the one man he hoped could help him in his most desperate hour.

This man:


Things have rebounded a bit since the morning, so Cook might be done frantically emailing. But if things get scary again don't be surprised if Netflix CEO Reed Hastings starts breathlessly Snapchatting at Rick Santelli.