Pimco: Bill Gross Can't Hurt Us Anymore

The firm claims to have picked up the pieces and moved on with its life, following the departure of Bill "I'm like Secretariat out there" Gross.

Author:
Bess Levin
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
Aug 7, 2015

Last year’s departure of Gross, Pimco’s co-founder, extended a record period of outflows from its funds, already battered by low interest rates and mediocre returns. Assets in the Pimco Total Return Fund, which Gross managed, have plunged to $101 billion from a high of $293 billion in April 2013. [...] “I think we have overcome the Bill Gross effect,” Wemmer said. “I think we are now in the tactical or strategic reallocation of monies by our customers.” [Bloomberg]

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P.S. He still wants his god damn money.

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Bill Gross increasingly furious that his old firm keeps texting back "New phone, who dis?"

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Has there ever been a person in your life you didn't realize how much meant to you 'til they were gone? Who you would have treated better if you'd known your final day with was your last? Who you would have begged to stay? Who you assumed would be back eventually but as the weeks, months, and years crept on forced you to come to the hard realization that the next and only time you'd see them would be in your dreams, because they were never coming back? Whose permanent absence, once finally accepted it, hit you like a ton of bricks? Then you know how people involved with Bill Gross's Mustache feel today. Once a daily presence on the PIMCO manager's face, the BGM went away for a while but it was assumed not for good because how could that be? Why would that be? It felt impossible. Then this happened: Bloomberg's Tom Keene: When does the mustache come back? Gross: Never. My wife has finally adjusted, so it's not coming back. If you never got to say a proper good-bye, if you would have done things differently, if you feel like the wind's been knocked out of you, if you can't bear the thought of being alone tonight, join us as we light a candle in memoriam. Bill Gross's mustache in deep contemplation Bill Gross's mustache in an insane asylum Bill Gross's mustache mustache so stoned it can't feel its face Bill Gross's angry mustache! Bill Gross's suicidal mustache Bill Gross's mustache undressing you with its mind ... Pimco's Gross on Financial Repression, ETF, Greece [Bloomberg]

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He just can't help himself.