Greece; Ukraine; Hedge fund manager turns $32.6 Million into $1; Pigs as office pets; "Thousands Attend Funeral Of Tama The Cat, Famed Feline Stationmaster"; and more.

Einhorn's no good very bad year; Dow tries to beat off Loeb; "Texting with punctuation is 'insincere': Study"; and more.

Greece; Puerto Rico; JPM cyber security; "I had sex in the cockpit: A flight attendant’s confessions"; and more.

$$$ ECB thinks the unthinkable, action likely weeks away [Reuters] $$$ Private equity assets hit record $3tn [FT] $$$ Economy Tests Harvard [WSJ] $$$ Guy seeks attention by pretending he manipulated Libor [Boston Review, related] $$$ Chivalry On Sinking Ships Only A Myth, Researchers Find [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie Research is looking for a REIT research associate in New York [DBCC] $$$ A Berlusconi Comeback Is Last Thing Italy Needs [Bloomberg] $$$ Here you will find a Fox Business segment on The Decathlon featuring an NBA vs. Wall Street vertical jump contest [FBN] $$$ Here you will find an argument for replacing the uncomfortable business metaphor "opening the kimono" with "putting a ruler to the dick" [Mathbabe] $$$ "Many scientists don’t like to talk about shark sex," but some do [LRB]

$$$ Fed Sees Action if Growth Doesn't Pick Up Soon [WSJ] $$$ Greece will need more debt restructuring - EU officials [Reuters] $$$ Outlook Cut Could Stiffen Berlin's Opposition to Aid [Der Spiegel] $$$ Apple Falls Short Of Analysts’ Expectations Amid IPhone Slump [Bloomberg] $$$ Loeb Buys More Yahoo Shares for $39.5 Million [CNBC] $$$ Plane towing "Will You Marry Me?" banner crashes off RI [CBS] $$$ Nomura is looking for an operations associate in New York, if you're interested [DBCC] $$$ Bond Trading Loses Some Swagger Amid Upheaval [NYT] $$$ Bridgewater Sees ‘Dangerous Dynamic’ As Largest Economies Slow [Bloomberg] $$$ Google agrees EU antitrust deal outline [FT] $$$ 'Hockey mom madam's' partner files papers to have case dismissed [NYP] $$$ Sometimes one subway train leaves before the other subway train; other times, the other subway train leaves first [City Room]

China; Day Trader to Ryan Gosling's Sidekick; Wall Street sick of Chipotle; "After Walmart Proposal, Man Stole Sex Toys"; and more.

Nasdaq testing AI to track rogue traders; Bachelor party economics; Most Americans wouldn't sleep with Donald Trump for $1 million; and more.

Greece; Apple; The next big short; "These Two Men Have Each Eaten Chipotle For Over 100 Days Straight"; and more.