$$$Dow Plunges 531 Points in Selloff [Bloomberg]
$$$Expensive Shake Shack short bets may have paid off [Reuters]
$$$Oil Falls Below $40 for First Time Since 2009 [Bloomberg]
$$$A Brutal Week in Markets, But What Comes Next? [BloombergView]
$$$The economics of anal sex [Fusion]
$$$Over-the-top ‘Godfather’ funeral causes outrage in Rome [Reuters]
$$$The 25 fintech 'unicorns' worth over $1 billion ranked by value [BI]
$$$This Week’s Market Sell-Off May Not Be Such a Bad Thing [NYT]
Shake Shack loss; KKR succession plan; Insider tippers; Goat stolen so guy could ask girl "Would you goat to the prom with me?"; AND MORE.
Houlihan Lockey fizzles; Shake Shack slides; GM ramps up; Minions are smuggling cocaine; and more.
Greece; Ukraine; Hedge fund manager turns $32.6 Million into $1; Pigs as office pets; "Thousands Attend Funeral Of Tama The Cat, Famed Feline Stationmaster"; and more.
Einhorn's no good very bad year; Dow tries to beat off Loeb; "Texting with punctuation is 'insincere': Study"; and more.
Greece; Puerto Rico; JPM cyber security; "I had sex in the cockpit: A flight attendant’s confessions"; and more.
China; Day Trader to Ryan Gosling's Sidekick; Wall Street sick of Chipotle; "After Walmart Proposal, Man Stole Sex Toys"; and more.
The Highest & Lowest Paid MBAs of 2015; Twitter losses; HSBC money-laundering; Couple Arrested For Sex On Vegas Ferris Wheel; and more.
$$$ ECB thinks the unthinkable, action likely weeks away [Reuters] $$$ Private equity assets hit record $3tn [FT] $$$ Economy Tests Harvard [WSJ] $$$ Guy seeks attention by pretending he manipulated Libor [Boston Review, related] $$$ Chivalry On Sinking Ships Only A Myth, Researchers Find [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie Research is looking for a REIT research associate in New York [DBCC] $$$ A Berlusconi Comeback Is Last Thing Italy Needs [Bloomberg] $$$ Here you will find a Fox Business segment on The Decathlon featuring an NBA vs. Wall Street vertical jump contest [FBN] $$$ Here you will find an argument for replacing the uncomfortable business metaphor "opening the kimono" with "putting a ruler to the dick" [Mathbabe] $$$ "Many scientists don’t like to talk about shark sex," but some do [LRB]
