China panic; Rate hike; Making UBS look human; "In a bid to dodge DUI and drug charges, a 24-year-old Floridian allegedly offered to perform sex acts upon three separate cops, solicitations that were rejected and resulted in bribery charges being filed against the woman."; and more

Deutsche Bank raided; China likes Buffett; "Pole Dances Are Tax Exempt As An Art Form, Lap Dances Aren't New York Tax Judge Rules"; and more.

Big hedge funds screwed by Valeant; Jack Ma says chill on China; IMF's Lagarde says be afraid; "Cops: "Irate" Suspect Kicked Other Woman In Face After Victim Farted Near Her"; and more.

Phil Falcone went shopping; Goldman wants you to short these stocks; Traders are miffed with the Fed; "Medics Rush To Help 'Collapsed' Woman Who Turns Out To Be Pigeon"; and more.

Goldman staff leave following 'guidelines breach'; Yellen says negative rates are on the table; DEA: Wheelchair-Bound Woman, 74, Ran Heroin Sales For Florida Drug Gang; and more.

Short-seller has nothing (new) to say about Valeant; Ken Griffin waxes nostalgic; Fantasy-sports probe focused on inside information; "Drunk Woman Breaks Into Zoo To Pet Tiger, Gets Bit"; and more.

Activist investors have a new favorite target; U.S. regulators, FBI warn banks on cyber threat after Bangladesh heist; Woman busted for DWI blasts cops for ‘picking on rich people’; and more.

Ray Dalio says run for your lives; Greece is pissing people off; "Man uses M16 assault rifle to cook bacon"; AND MORE.