Bloomberg: Would It Kill This Pope To Act Like A God Damn Rich Person Every Now And Then?

It's like those $8 billion to his name are just going to waste.

Author:: Bess Levin
Updated:: Jan 14, 2019
Original:: Sep 24, 2015

He doesn't have to retrofit the Popemobile with Swarovski-encrusted rims but Jesus, spring for a round of Cristal every so often.

Yet in the reign of Francis—nicknamed the People’s Pope, or the Pope of the Poor—luxury seems somewhat incongruous. Though he presides over coffers that conservatively are worth at least $8 billion, he seems uninterested in spending, a radically different approach from most of his predecessors. He isn’t anti-capitalist, but he emphasizes mindfulness in spending, whether personal or corporate.

Benedict, now he knew how to act like a billionaire.

Compare this to Benedict, nicknamed the Prada Pope, who had a raffish affect. He was snapped by photographers sporting sunglasses en route to meet Italy’s president (no confirmation as to whether they were Gucci or Serengeti, despite much squinting) and even commissioned a private perfume-maker to create a signature fragrance solely for his use.

How Un-Luxurious Is Pope Francis, Compared to His Predecessors? [Bloomberg]

He's not just going to come around on capitalism, he's gonna want in.

It's not like Vatican Bank is run by actual angels, y'know.

The Bank of America chief's internal monologue right now is probably going something like "Forget it, I quit, I can’t do this anymore, man. My head’s about to explode. My whole life sucks! I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know where I’m going. We just killed Bambi and I’m out here getting my ass kicked!"

In stercore confidimus diaboli.

As you may have heard, recently some JP Morgan shareholders have been making a lot of noise about their desire to strip Jamie Dimon of his gig as JP Morgan Chairman. Their argument centers largely on last summer's incident in which one of the bank's employees lost $6+ billion on a trade. So far the board has rallied behind JD, but we hadn't yet heard from veterans of the business community. What, for instance, is Ken Langone's reaction to the idea that Jamie can't hold down two jobs at the same time? Whattayanuts? It's horse shit, is what! "Nuts!" he told Bloomberg TV the afternoon. "It's nuts!" 1. Jamie Dimon is the best CEO in America, nay, the universe 2. JPMorgan is so good is can afford things like the Whale. 3. Ken loves Jamie, as a human. 4 This "whole nonsense about governance is a lot of horse feathers" to Big Langs and 5. Unrelated but important: Ken Langone would like to remind you that he once vanquished Eliot Spitzer.