German Digital Bank Has The Cure For Your Rate Hike Priapism - Dealbreaker

German Digital Bank Has The Cure For Your Rate Hike Priapism

It's not perfect, but at least it's something.
Author:
Updated:
Original:

Feeling a little let down by those wet blankets over at The Fed these days? Wishing that there was some more volatility in your life/portfolio?

Well brother, have we got the Germany-based digital banking platform for you...

A German bank that allows customers to set their savings rates based on its number of likes on Facebook will launch in the UK on Friday.

We know, we know; You're not going to get the same charge as an honest-to-God interest rate hike from some savings account tickling, but you need a little something to feel alive now and then. Why wait on that unrepentant buzzkill Janet Yellen for thrills when you can cop a few cheap ones by letting your money ride on the same metric that you use to value which of your high school friends has ugly children?

Yeah, we figured you want to know more...

Initially , customers will need to open what is called a current account – although it does not yet have a debit card attached to it. The account will offer a 0.25% savings rate, which could increase to 0.5% depending on customers’ willingness to rate it on Facebook.
Each 2,000 likes on Facebook will increase the percentage interest, so 4,000 likes would take it to 0.35% – rates that do not challenge the incumbents such as Lloyds Banking Group, which pays a higher amount for in-credit balance.

Hey, it's Friday. Live a little, you deserve it.

Bank with interest rates linked to Facebook likes to launch in UK [Guardian]

Related

Congressman Warns Janet Yellen About Implicitly Satanic Winter Rate Hikes

J-Yells might as well proclaim "Hail Satan" if she hike rates before the bloom is upon the rose.

Yellen.BankBoys

A Newly Frisky Janet Yellen Is Ready To Set The Banks Free

At long last, the banking industry has turned the tide and begun to win its existential battle against diligent regulation.

CryanSorry

Deutsche Bank To Germans: Is It Too Late Now To Say Sorry?

Cryan knows that he let you down. Is it too late to say entschuldigung now?

Fed Presidents Play Deal Or No Deal

We all know what's inside J-Yell's metal suitcase this time.