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Legendary Investor Lenny Dykstra Is Somehow Running Low On Cash

Who has $50,000 they can spare?
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Lenny Dykstra, who Jim Cramer not too long ago completely seriously described as one of the greatest investors who ever lived, could use a hand here. If you've kept tabs on him all the years, including the period in which he was arrested and indicted on charges of bankruptcy fraud for ripping the toilets out of his foreclosed upon house, which was precipitated by, among other things, filing for Chapter 11, living out of his car and bouncing a check to a hooker, and you would like to be a part of his glorious and imminent post-prison comeback, consider doing him this solid.

Porn star Brett Rossi claims Dykstra offered to help her sell a few pieces of jewelry, including a diamond emerald bracelet and a set of diamond earrings. After Rossi asked for the gems back, the former Mets center fielder returned the earrings. Only hiccup is, the real sparklers had been swapped out for fake studs. Dykstra has yet to comment on the alleged theft, let alone respond to the letter from Rossi’s lawyer demanding the diamonds back — or $50,000 cash. This isn’t the first time the 52-year-old has tangoed with trouble. After pleading guilty to three felonies, including bankruptcy fraud and money laundering in July 2012, Dykstra was sentenced to six and a half months in prison that December. He was released in June 2013.

Whaddya say?

Lenny Dykstra accused of robbing Charlie Sheen’s porn-star ex [NYP]

Related: Lenny Dykstra Takes Page From Jim Cramer’s Playabook, Endorses Charlie Sheen As A “F*cking Genius”; Jim Cramer: “He is one of the great ones in this business. Lenny Dykstra.” HBO: “Lenny Dykstra?” Jim Cramer: “Lenny Dykstra.”


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It involves "elderly women" and "companionship."

Prosecutors Want Jim Cramer-Endorsed Investor Lenny Dykstra To Do Thirty Months In Jail

They say that's the only way Dykstra* will learn that in our society, you can't rip toilets and other bathroom fixtures out of the floor and sell them to a pawn shops just because you feel like it, or drop trou for the cleaning staff.