Models Show That Everything Will Be Fine

Nothing to see here.

Author:
Jon Shazar
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
Sep 1, 2015

Adjusting the model.

Worried about last month’s nightmare? You’ve probably got the wrong model.

“If your investment portfolio is well-aligned with your actual risk tolerance and the horizon over which you expect to spend the funds, do nothing,” he wrote. “Otherwise, use this moment as an opportunity to set it right. Whatever you’re going to do, do it. You may not get another opportunity.”

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Do you worship at the Temple of Chipotle? Do you refuse to make use of the online order option that allows you to bypass the line, as one half of Team Dealbreaker does, but unlike said burrito lover, prefer not to show up before 12 so as to beat the rush? Would you die before patronizing some inferior establishment for lunch but would also like to know what kind of wait you're going to be dealing with before making the trip, or, alternatively, not really care how long you have to wait but just get off on predicting stuff to a 3-sigma confidence level? Some enterprising D.E. Shaw employees have got covered. FYI- D.E. Shaw employees have built a model that predicts the length of the line at the Chipotle down the street from the 1166 Ave of the Americas office. Not only that, they are really excited about how accurate it is. Obviously this needs to be shared and disseminated ASAP, for the greater good, unless it's being kept proprietary at this time for reasons that involve a little something called the DE Shaw Chipotle Line Length Fund I and investors who would pay 2 and 20, nay, 3 and 50 to get in on this little money-making machine. Related: Tools Of The Trade: How To Prove To DE Shaw You’re DE Shaw Material