Opening Bell: 9.22.15

Goldman Sachs’s Blankfein Says He Has ‘Highly Curable’ Lymphoma (Bloomberg)
“My doctors have advised me that during the treatment, I will be able to work substantially as normal, leading the firm,” Blankfein, 61, said Tuesday in a statement. “My own expectation is that I will be cured.” Blankfein, who has been CEO of the New York-based firm since 2006, said he underwent a series of tests late this summer after not feeling well. A biopsy last week confirmed lymphoma, he said, adding that he will reduce some previously planned travel during the treatment period.

Greek Bank Review Holds Key to 3 Billion-Euro Payment (Bloomberg)
Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras will need to enact banking-sector reforms to unlock 3 billion euros ($3.4 billion) in bailout funds set aside for Europe’s most indebted nation, according to Thomas Wieser, head of the Euro Working Group. The money is slated to be paid out in two installments if Tsipras and euro-area nations can reach a deal on specific conditions for release, Wieser, who prepares euro-area finance ministers’ meetings, said in an interview on Monday in Brussels.

How UBS Spread the Pain of Puerto Rico's Debt Crisis to Clients (Bloomberg)
Angry customers have filed hundreds of arbitration claims with the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority. They’re seeking more than $1.1 billion in damages from UBS after huge losses in the tax-free bond funds, sold as high-income investments that would preserve their capital, and in the bonds themselves. Three of UBS Puerto Rico’s five offices have closed since 2010, and nearly 60 of the unit’s 140 financial advisers have departed. The bank’s retail brokerage market share on the island has dropped to 33 percent from 48 percent over that period.

Celeb finance firm accused of racist digs toward client Rihanna (NYP)
Flynn Family Office partner Alan Kufeld regularly made obscene comments and once described his hopes that a new intern had a body like her mom, who he said “is banging the drummer from [heavy metal band] Skid Row,” according to the Manhattan federal court lawsuit...Kufeld would regularly comment on how hot FFO’s female clients in the entertainment sector were, making the “not too dark” comment about Rihanna before giving a “monologue on what Caribbean nationalities were the most attractive based on skin tone” and discussing “sex tourism and the relative hotness of Asian women,” the suit states.

Domino's Accidentally Delivers $1,300 In Cash Instead Of Chicken Wings (HP)
Mike Vegas, a bartender at AT&T Park in San Francisco, told NBC Bay Area he thought he was going to have the night off so he ordered some pizza and wings. But when he got called into work, he stuck the box of wings in the fridge unopened. "I got off work really late, and when I came back home I found the cash in the delivery box -- a refrigerated deposit," Vegas told the station. "I was rubbing my eyes at 5 a.m., laughing at myself." Vegas said the driver had called looking for the missing money, but since he had been at work, he ignored the calls.

SEC Takes Aim at Risk in Asset Management (WSJ)
The agency is scheduled to vote on proposed rules requiring mutual funds and exchange-traded funds to get a better handle on how they would survive periods of large investor withdrawals. The measure is the second in a series of five initiatives the SEC is developing to address ongoing concerns that oversight of firms like BlackRock Inc. and Fidelity Investments has not kept pace with potential risks their funds may pose to the financial system.

Fed Decision to Hold Steady Was a ‘Close Call’ (WSJ)
In fact, central bankers say they weren’t far from taking that first step to start raising short-term interest rates.

Judge Proves Ally to Government on Insider-Trading Ruling (WSJ)
At issue is a decision last year by the Second U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New York that overturned two insider-trading convictions and said the government had stretched the limits of the law too far. Since then, U.S. District Judge Jed Rakoff, who has long had a reputation for being a burr in the side of lawyers for the Justice Department and Securities and Exchange Commission, has issued several rulings playing down the appellate-court decision’s impact and construing it narrowly.

Industry warns over failure to reach EU-U.S. deal on derivatives (Reuters)
Failure by European Union and U.S. regulators to iron out differences in their derivatives rules would prompt "catastrophic" attempts by market users to pull out from American clearing houses, a senior industry official has warned...Brussels and Washington have been locked in talks over smoothing out rule clashes to avoid the global $630 trillion market for interest rate, credit default and other swaps from fragmenting permanently and bumping up costs.

Woman, 27, Arrested For Pooper Scooper Attack On Her Live-In Boyfriend (TSG)
Megan Smith, 27, was arrested for battery around 5 AM Monday when an argument about “living arrangements” with victim Alexander Buck allegedly “turned physical.” Police charge that Smith “picked up a pooper scooper and hit the victim in the face with it multiple times.” The pooper scooper strikes knocked Buck’s glasses off his face and left him with “multiple abrasions to his left eyebrow and forehead.” Buck, who fled the couple’s Bradenton home and called 911, subsequently declined treatment from an EMS team dispatched to the residence. During police questioning, Smith reportedly copped to striking Buck with the scooper, which is used to handle cat litter. “She stated she hit him because the victim would not stop arguing with her,” an investigator noted.