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President Trump's War On Hedge Funds Will Be So Good For Hedge Funds According To President Trump

Sometimes we hurt the ones that we - maybe but probably don't - love the most.

Presumptive President-Elect of the United States, Donald Juarez Trump was back in his adopted home state of Texas yesterday and made another of his Dadaist extemporaneous political appearances. The diatribe speech covered a variety of Trump's favorite topics, and that includes his newly-launched war on hedge funds.

Because he's running as a Republican, Trump has decided to go after hedgies and make them pay a higher tax rate to help ease the burden on middle class Americans. That has led to some pretty great sound bites and a meeting with Anthony Scaramucci that apparently left both men very confused.

According to BI, Trump's speech from yesterday was another development in the creation of "Trumpulism."

The Donald said this;

"Are there any hedge-fund guys in this room? If there are, you should probably leave right now."

Why? Because he also said this.

"I have a friend in the hedge-fund business. Not really a friend. Not actually a nice guy. But he'd be good representing us [in my administration], I will tell you," Trump recalled at the Monday rally. "Because the time I finish, he may not have much of a hedge fund left."

How does President Trump know that his hedge fund frenemy is doing so well? Because when you're hanging out with Donald Trump, you brag about money.

"I said, 'What did you make last year?' He said, 'About $250 million.' Can you believe this? This is serious. I said, 'Oh, that's a lot of money. What did you pay in taxes?' He goes, 'Practically nothing.' That was a couple years ago," he continued. "I never forgot it."

Mind like a steel trap, this Trump. But is this war on hedgies maybe a little personal? Does he want to destroy these poor billionaires?

"The truth is they'll do just fine. They're going to do just fine because we're going to make the country so successful…They'll end up doing better. They'll end up doing better."

Better? Even if they're paying 90% in taxes? Sounds like some economy we're going to have.

In the meantime, can everyone who's making a killing on the two and twenties just stop bragging about how much they made last year when they're within earshot of President Trump?

TRUMP: I'll hike taxes on hedge funds — but I'll make the US so great, 'they'll end up doing better' [BI]


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